Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
Woman 1 – Do you like my new jeans?
Woman 2 – wow yes… Do they come in women sizes?
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
1st Person: I totally hate you!!
2nd Person: And I totally care!!
I’m married but it’s not serious.
Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Person 1: Did you fall?
Person 2: No, a bunch a kids wanted to play ping pong with my a**.
One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Try not to be sarcastic when you are not, it’s just as difficult as walking with your nose.
Sarcasm is a skill meant for a chosen few.
I’ll give you five seconds to find hell.
– Sweetie, I’m already there (:
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
You were looking good from afar.. Now you’re far from looking good.
I let you know when I start to care….Check back in about five years.
3 o’clock in the morning and your best friend calls
You: HEY!! Dude I’m awake and super hyper!!!
You: Dude, are you asleep?
Me: No stupid, I’m skydiving.