Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3
My friends are so much cooler than yours.
I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?
We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.
Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.
I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.
Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!
3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!
Life’s good, you should get one.
I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.
Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”
Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle