Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!
Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.
Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?
Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.
Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!
I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”
Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.
Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle
You are about as useful as a white crayon.
Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
3 A. M. Phone call
- Hey are you asleep?
- No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!
After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
Person 1 : Watch my stuff.
Me : Why? Is it going to do a trick.