Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3

9

Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?

Submitted by: GumboCharlie
133

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Submitted by: thwhitewolff
90

Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!

Submitted by: Amanda
21

We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.

Submitted by: Jennifer
128

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Submitted by: therandomone
36

Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”

Submitted by: Kurisutii
13

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Sir Custac
4

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy
10

I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.

Submitted by: dmitch
9

Life’s good, you should get one.

Submitted by: TTres
190

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph
7

Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.

Submitted by: jekah
5

I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).

Submitted by: Lowkeyfan
16

Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !

Submitted by: Cii
18

Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.

Submitted by: m&m
8

After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Submitted by: CJ
40

I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.

Submitted by: steve
25

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub
17

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Sarcastic Quote: I clapped because it’s finished, not because...

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Submitted by: Angel Geo
33

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR
130

Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle

Submitted by: CF1
13

3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown
8

Mom: *knocks on my door*
Me: What?
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.

Submitted by: Aiden
16

You are about as useful as a white crayon.

Submitted by: James
38

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Submitted by: vera lemon

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