Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3

4

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

Submitted by: shutup
7

Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?

Submitted by: GumboCharlie
133

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Submitted by: thwhitewolff
89

Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!

Submitted by: Amanda
20

We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.

Submitted by: Jennifer
127

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Submitted by: therandomone
16

Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.

Submitted by: m&m
36

Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”

Submitted by: Kurisutii
9

I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.

Submitted by: dmitch
2

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy
12

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Sir Custac
190

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph
30

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR
39

I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.

Submitted by: steve
24

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub
6

Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.

Submitted by: jekah
130

Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle

Submitted by: CF1
17

Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

Submitted by: chellaki
13

You are about as useful as a white crayon.

Submitted by: James
16

Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !

Submitted by: Cii
7

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Submitted by: prplraines
56

Person 1 : Watch my stuff.
Me : Why? Is it going to do a trick.

Submitted by: somma
7

3 A. M. Phone call
- Hey are you asleep?
- No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown
8

After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Submitted by: CJ
37

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Submitted by: vera lemon

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