Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5
I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
I wasn’t trying to insult you!! I’m just being sarcastic.
You’re almost funny.
You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it
Person 1: Have you heard the news?
Person 2: No, but I will if you tell me.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”
Cool Story Bro. Tell it again, you should tell it at parties.
I’m stupid and I know it, I just don’t like people telling me this.
I had a slight headache, then you my friend, just turned it into a migraine. Thank you very much.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in charge? See I didn’t get the memo.
Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
Guy: Hey don’t worry I can play dumb
Woman: Play dumb? You could manage the team!
Person1- “Dude, you have a serious problem with sarcasm!!!”
Person2- “NO I DON’T… We talk every day!”
Of course I’m NOT being sarcastic!
It’s always the last place you look for it… Of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?
I’m not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?