Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?

Submitted by: The Crackling appleorb

*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

Submitted by: FAX_and_MANG

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!

Submitted by: lisa

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso

You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.

Submitted by: aniesha

“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.

Submitted by: mandy
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Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!

Submitted by: Alisha

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something

Submitted by: I LOVE BOONE
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Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Submitted by: vera lemon

Are you really stupid or you are just pretending?

Submitted by: bmt

3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown

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