Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 6
You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.
You have no one to blame but yourself…Unless some other guy is standing next to you then you can blame him.
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.
Are you really stupid or you are just pretending?
“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”
Here let me drop whats imprortant to me and pay attention to you and all of your needs.
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
You: “Why are you here?”
Me: “Well… Heaven didn’t want me,
And hells afraid I’ll take over.”
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?
Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!
There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.
Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?