Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
Person 1: Why are you so fat?
Person 2: I’m not fat. I am skinny, it’s just that because of all the fat you can’t see it.
Sarcasm kindles joy in us, releases frustration in a comic way.
There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.
Person 1: What time is it?
Person 2: Do I look like a clock to you?
John: Do you know there are 24 hours in a day?
Elvine: Really!!! You have a gift John.
Elvine: A gift for stating the obvious.
Sarcasm is my mother tongue.
I need you like a fish need a rain coat.
Here you go!! It’s a bowl of sarcasm!!
Person 1: Please don’t tell me that …
Person 2: Okay, I won’t tell you that …
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.
Sarcasm, Just another service I offer. What do you offer? stupidity?
Languages I speak
I trip and knock over a book shelf.
Random person: “Smooth.”
Me: “Thank you, I try.”
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
So it seems a certain person believes that I have a problem with sarcasm. Well thank you Captain Obvious for that startling revelation!
If Barbie had brains she could drive, ride horses, swim, walk and talk, remind me what can you do again.
Do you know sarcasm?
– I speak fluently in sarcasm.
The movie was awesome!! My favorite part was when it ended.
What? I don’t speak idiot!
Person 1: Where are you going?
Person 2: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought stupidity was contagious.
Person 1: You’re right. I probably should go before I get it from you.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.