Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub

Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

Submitted by: vera lemon

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Submitted by: Grouchier Marx

Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.

Submitted by: mewntx

We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.

Submitted by: Jennifer

3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.

Submitted by: J-rock

A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.

Submitted by: Natalis

Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?

Submitted by: witt

WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Submitted by: jo-c

You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!

Submitted by: Biteme

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

Submitted by: ninja

Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

Submitted by: Darian

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