Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.
3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.
Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!