Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
You: Aww
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!

Submitted by: Alli

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri

Are you asleep??? Nope

Submitted by: Cns

I’m married but it’s not serious.

Submitted by: Ryder

I just got off the phone with Satan…he told me that he has a special seat in hell with your name on it.

Submitted by: Chlojho

Me: Hey guess what I just found out!
Black guy: What?
Me: I know a black guy!
Black guy: Me too!

Submitted by: d

You: I’m Sick Of You and You’re Nonsense!
Me: Well Take Some Medicine.

Submitted by: Chris

You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.

Submitted by: faith

I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.

Submitted by: angel

I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!

Submitted by: kyliek

I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!

Submitted by: kyliek

I wasn’t trying to insult you!! I’m just being sarcastic.

Submitted by: Lupita

You’re almost funny.

Submitted by: ironlung

You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it

Submitted by: Tiffany

Person 1: Have you heard the news?
Person 2: No, but I will if you tell me.

Submitted by: pinchME

Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Submitted by: livelaff

Your silence echos your thoughts.

Submitted by: PeteMitt

“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”

Submitted by: MYA MOORE

Cool Story Bro. Tell it again, you should tell it at parties.

Submitted by: Allison

I’m stupid and I know it, I just don’t like people telling me this.

Submitted by: cheyenne

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