Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”
Your silence echos your thoughts.
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.
Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”
You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).