Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7

155

That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.

Submitted by: sslewis
6

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
Oscar Wilde

7

Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!

Submitted by: Richard
34

Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?

Submitted by: Jim
6

I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce

19

Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.

Submitted by: whitecat
25

You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”

Submitted by: Kurt
22

Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.

Submitted by: jennifer
13

I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”

Submitted by: Clothilda
8

Your silence echos your thoughts.

Submitted by: PeteMitt
55

Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?

Submitted by: Munkichikin
67

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.

Submitted by: Kelley
12

You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..

Submitted by: Chris
11

Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.

Submitted by: Sigmund
12

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!

Submitted by: SarcasticSarcasm=Me
38

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael
30

Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.

Submitted by: N413z
8

Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Submitted by: Madison
8

Time flies by when you’re insulting people.

Submitted by: Sergaveena Mammakova
19

Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.

Submitted by: Nick
15

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

55

Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs
202

A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?

Submitted by: Darryl Parryl
15

Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Submitted by: livelaff
9

Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

Submitted by: Bill
57

I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs
60

Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?

Submitted by: GKB PSYCHO.unit
49

‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”

Submitted by: Chiahjee
167

You always do me a favor, when you shut up!

Submitted by: Nana
11

Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).

Submitted by: sarcasm

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