Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
Person 1: ” You did not just do that!!”
Person 2: “no? watch I’ll do it again!!”
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
Why are you late? The teacher asked…
I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
If you’re too open- minded, your brains will fall out.
– Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.
– Cassandra Clare
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.