Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
This is my cup of care… _/ … Oh! Would you look at that, it’s empty!
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
Person 1: ” You did not just do that!!”
Person 2: “no? watch I’ll do it again!!”
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
You were looking good from afar.. Now you’re far from looking good.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Why are you late? The teacher asked…
I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.