Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7


Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.


Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate

Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.

Submitted by: Brighton

Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

Submitted by: Bill

What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?

Submitted by: The Crackling appleorb

Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?

Submitted by: Elia

Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Submitted by: Liz G

Person 1: ” You did not just do that!!”
Person 2: “no? watch I’ll do it again!!”

Submitted by: cijan rike

You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.

Submitted by: iyad

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter

Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

Submitted by: Darian

I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.

Submitted by: Jessica

You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.

Submitted by: whit

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde


On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Submitted by: therandomone

Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?

Submitted by: Didget

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.


I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.


If had a dollar for evry smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.

Submitted by: Ken

Why are you late? The teacher asked…
I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student

Submitted by: Snametic

You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.

Submitted by: aniesha

You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”

Submitted by: Leah Victoria

Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?

Submitted by: witt

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal

Sarcastic Quote: Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of...

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A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

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