Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
It’s your lie…tell it however you want!
Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?
Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Person 1: ” You did not just do that!!”
Person 2: “no? watch I’ll do it again!!”
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
This is my cup of care… _/ … Oh! Would you look at that, it’s empty!
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
You were looking good from afar.. Now you’re far from looking good.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
If had a dollar for evry smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.
Why are you late? The teacher asked…
I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.