Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 7
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?
Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Person 1: ” You did not just do that!!”
Person 2: “no? watch I’ll do it again!!”
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
If had a dollar for evry smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.
Why are you late? The teacher asked…
I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.