Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
You: “what are you wearing to the halloween party?”
Me: ” I don’t know.”
You: “We should go as each other!”
Me: “Fine with me . . . At least I’ll win the scariest costume award.”
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.