Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?

Submitted by: stop_bing_me

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Submitted by: prplraines

It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.

Submitted by: David S

Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .

Submitted by: OMGOSH ITS ME!

You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.

Submitted by: Vuyie

3 A.M. Phone call… Hey are you asleep?… No I’m sky diving!

Submitted by: Dannie

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael

Mom: Have you picked out what you’re wearing to school tomorrow?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: What is it?
Me: Clothes!

Submitted by: Ylime Eyaf Steehs

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel

Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes he’s my best friend…

Submitted by: 'Lil miss giggle
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There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.

Submitted by: MCMLXXXVII

Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?

Submitted by: Jim

A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.

Submitted by: Roojole

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter

Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.

Submitted by: N413z

I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!

Submitted by: kyliek

Awww that`s so cute!
you actually think I care…

Submitted by: Tinker

Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.

Submitted by: jennifer

You: What are you doing?
Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.

Submitted by: aastha

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown

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