Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.

Submitted by: reddevil109

I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.

Submitted by: Sir Custac

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Sir Custac

No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.

Submitted by: Mrs. Melissa Maxwell, AR

Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…

Submitted by: mimi

I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.

Submitted by: kala

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.

Submitted by: Kelley

There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?

Submitted by: Alex

I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).

Submitted by: Lowkeyfan

Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?

Submitted by: Munkichikin

You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.

Submitted by: whit

Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.

Submitted by: Abhay

So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?

Submitted by: ohwhatever!

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.

Submitted by: magda

Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.

Submitted by: wolf

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