Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
So it seems a certain person believes that I have a problem with sarcasm. Well thank you Captain Obvious for that startling revelation!
If Barbie had brains she could drive, ride horses, swim, walk and talk, remind me what can you do again.
Me: Use your brain. THINK. The group needs you.
Friend: What is this brain that you speak of?
Person 1: Where are you going?
Person 2: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought stupidity was contagious.
Person 1: You’re right. I probably should go before I get it from you.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
You have one foot in your mouth already. You should probably try for a second.
You: What are you doing?
Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.