Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?
I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
You: Are you sleeping?
Me: I’m not sleeping, I’m just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye… It might take a while.
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.