Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
– Lawrence G. Lovasik
You were looking good from afar.. Now you’re far from looking good.
Are you going to school tomorrow?
Nah, I’m riding my unicorn to Mars instead.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
I let you know when I start to care….Check back in about five years.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”
It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.
You: Go to hell!
Me: See you there (:
You: God. You’re so stupid!
Me: I learned from the best.
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
You think you’re so smart?
– No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
Man…you are so funny, but hey looks aren’t everything.
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
You’re unique just like everyone else!