Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
I’m not really good at giving advice, could I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!
You call this fat? I call this a 1 Pack!
Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of my head and expect it to hurt?
My loyalty cannot be brought, however, it can be rented.
Here’s my cup of care.
Oh look it’s empty.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
Person 1: I’m not in the mood to hear gibberish .
Person 2 : Oh… I am ! What were you going to say ?
9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.
So it seems a certain person believes that I have a problem with sarcasm. Well thank you Captain Obvious for that startling revelation!
No sh*t Sherlock!
Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
Oh I’m sorry, I’m not really good at acting like I care!
I don’t know what you’re problem is. . . But I’m pretty sure it’s hard to pronounce.
Just in case you haven’t noticed, you are ugly both mentally and physically. Other than that? You are totally fine!
Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!
Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.
How very observant of you there captain obvious.
I hear voices and even they don’t like you.!
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
Are you going to school tomorrow?
Nah, I’m riding my unicorn to Mars instead.
People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit… And that comes from the people who don’t understand it.
Man…you are so funny, but hey looks aren’t everything.
You: “what are you wearing to the halloween party?”
Me: ” I don’t know.”
You: “We should go as each other!”
Me: “Fine with me . . . At least I’ll win the scariest costume award.”
One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…
I’ll give you five seconds to find hell.
– Sweetie, I’m already there (:
You: Go to hell!
Me: See you there (:
You: God. You’re so stupid!
Me: I learned from the best.
You are funny, you make everyone laugh except when you joke.
Man, I sure do hate a bag of air with chips in it.