Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”
Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
You’re unique just like everyone else!
Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.
You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
You think you’re so smart?
– No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
You’re only jealous cos the voices don’t talk to you.