Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
No sh*t Sherlock!
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”
You’re unique just like everyone else!
Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
No you’re not ugly.. It’s just that you’re face is few centuries out of fashion.
9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
You’re only jealous cos the voices don’t talk to you.