Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 9
Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.
Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.
Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?
You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.
‘A’ is reading a book, ‘B’ says …
B: “Are you reading?”
A: “No, I’m staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.”
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
You’re unique just like everyone else!
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.
No you’re not ugly.. It’s just that you’re face is few centuries out of fashion.
You think you’re so smart?
- No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.