Sex Quotes and Sayings
I don’t know why they call it a Walk of shame. You just had sex last night and now everyone knows it. Sounds like a Walk of Win to me.
You’re 12, you should be loosing teeth. Not your virginity.
Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick. Boss: When I’m sick I have sex with my wife, try it. Later Chinese called back: It worked. Me better. You got nice house!
If you’re born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a “Bang”.
They say you shouldn’t lie to your doctor. But admit it, if they ask if you’ve ever had sex, and your mom is right there, you’re gonna say no.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza.
Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex cos you don’t want that late text… that I think I’m late text.
If you’re man enough to knock her up…then, you better be man enough to support the child.
All men approve of premarital sex…until they have a daughter.
My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.
Sex is the consolation you have when you can’t have love.
– Gabriel García Márquez
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret
Since sex got easier to get. Love got harder to find.
The nicer you treat her outside the bedroom, the naughtier it will get inside the bedroom.
Dirty: Not all sex is great. It certainly has its’ ups and downs.
Love is the cure to all diseases but sex is the only cure to a broken heart.
A real man is one who can have fun with you, without being sexual.
Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
– Robert Byrne
Before sex.. you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re f****d.
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it’s a cure.
– Thomas Szasz
Sex is like high school…you miss a period and you’re in trouble.
The best cure for a headache is good sex.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
– Woody Allen
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good.
– Woody Allen
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman