Short Funny Quotes
You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!
Never steal. The government hates competition.
Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. :)
1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
– Steven Wright
Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
Smile…It confuses peple..!!
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get. ];
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacfully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car…
I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!