Short Funny Quotes
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
practice makes perect but then nobody is perfect so wats the point of practicing?
Most good judgement comes from experience.
Most experience comes from bad judgement.
why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
devon needs to get a life
is that a good Quote
Life is Short - Talk Fast!
save water and shower together
If you are grouchy, irritable, or mean, there will be a $50 fee to put up with you.
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on
save paper don’t do home work
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.
A man went to the wise man at the mountain and asked him,” Whats the piont of life?” and the wise old man said” I don’t know ask a girl.”
Good girls ar bad girls that aren’t caught.
If a rose represents love, then why does it always die?
homework is killing
trees, stop the madness!
Laugh Until You Cry
Cry Until You Laugh
I still miss my ex - But guess what? My Aim is getting better
If Barbie was so popular, Why do people buy her friends ?
omg i love this one!!!
its hard to love someone that doesnt love you but its harder to know u lovesome one but u lost ur chance with them.
yeahhaa boyyy im talented!! LoL!
If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you dont have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!
why fight to live when we live to die???:)