Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

I’ve got problem for your solution…

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

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137 Responses

  • 1. devon said:

    A real happy person is someone who can enjoy the scenery on a detour

  • 2. devon said:

    ik thats obviously why i put it up hahahahaha

  • 3. devon said:

    *life= salsa lots of stuff in it and very hard to resist*

  • 4. devon said:

    practice makes perect but then nobody is perfect so wats the point of practicing?

  • 5. madi said:

    love is a battlefeild

  • 6. Geetesh debayan said:

    Most good judgement comes from experience.
    Most experience comes from bad judgement.

  • 7. jenny jane love eugenio said:

    it is better to lost than to lost a single drop of wine…

  • 8. chjs said:

    Its not cheating if its YOU’RE dog!

  • 9. Kapitan Omeng said:

    A laughter a day, keeps the bad breath away…

  • 10. tara:littlestar said:

    why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together???????????????????????

  • 11. tara:littlestar said:

    drink beer save water : as simple as that! ha ha hhhaahh

  • 12. jimmy macfetus said:

    devon needs to get a life
    is that a good Quote

  • 13. Jaime said:

    Life is Short - Talk Fast!

  • 14. Emilee said:

    save water and shower together

  • 15. DeAnna _starfish said:

    If you are grouchy, irritable, or mean, there will be a $50 fee to put up with you.

  • 16. DeAnna _starfish said:

    POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on

  • 17. George said:

    Love is blind, i guess thats why nobody sees it! Ha

  • 18. Allyson said:

    save paper don’t do home work

  • 19. Arjay said:

    Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!

    If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

  • 20. Arjay said:

    Everyone wants to do to heaven but noone wants to die.

  • 21. Briana said:

    A man went to the wise man at the mountain and asked him,” Whats the piont of life?” and the wise old man said” I don’t know ask a girl.”

  • 22. Briana said:

    Good girls ar bad girls that aren’t caught.

  • 23. Briana said:

    If a rose represents love, then why does it always die?

  • 24. Sam said:

    homework is killing
    trees, stop the madness!

  • 25. chineerat said:

    A man looks for a wife who is smarter than him but whom is not able to outsmart him.

  • 26. Richman said:

    Save the whales cause the wifes arnt working!!!!

  • 27. taylor said:

    Laugh Until You Cry
    Cry Until You Laugh

  • 28. DOLET said:

    EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, EVEN GOD, BECAUSE HE MADE YOU.

  • 29. Dilip said:

    What happens if you get half scared to death twice?
    :O

  • 30. Dilip said:

    I still miss my ex - But guess what? My Aim is getting better :D

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