Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
Whenever I find the key to success , someone changes the lock…
I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … but she has trouble being heard through all the fat.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
I was an atheist until i realized that i was God.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
Extension of common sense leads to confusion..
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot. She: Awww! How sweet! He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven? She: Why? He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi! She: Hi. He: Have I seen you somewhere? She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell…no I’m not…I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.
If others can do it…
..let them do it…
An optimist is a person who thinks b*s* is a fertilizer.
Homework kills trees. So don’t do homework.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it doesn’t, go left!
If you weren’t who you are …. I’d like you!
If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?
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Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
Whenever I find the key to success , someone changes the lock…
I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … but she has trouble being heard through all the fat.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
I was an atheist until i realized that i was God.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
Extension of common sense leads to confusion..
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
She: Why?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi!
She: Hi.
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell…no I’m not…I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.
If others can do it…
..let them do it…
An optimist is a person who thinks b*s* is a fertilizer.
Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it doesn’t, go left!
If you weren’t who you are …. I’d like you!
If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?