Short Funny Quotes - Page 16

349 Comments to “Short Funny Quotes”

Pages: « Previous 1 … 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Next »

301. Kristine wrote on 27 April, 2010, 22:26
Vote: 82 15

I stepped on a cheerio this morning…. Does that make me a cereal killer?
302. Blayze wrote on 3 May, 2010, 9:52
Vote: 46 15

The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.
303. Holli wrote on 4 May, 2010, 16:59
Vote: 38 10

Smile and the world smiles with you.
Laugh and they’ll think your on drugs.
304. tessa wrote on 6 May, 2010, 13:19
Vote: 11 68

Get stoned… eat wet cement.
305. Tina wrote on 8 May, 2010, 2:28
Vote: 21 41

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
306. crazy**** :) wrote on 12 May, 2010, 0:23
Vote: 36 13

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
307. bertman wrote on 16 May, 2010, 14:54
Vote: 19 20

Patience is a waste of time.

Classical music just confuses all the other voices in my head.

My password is ********* How many asterisks do you use for your password?

If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

I get bored in church. Why would I want to go to heaven?

I bet Einstein would have liked color.

I snore on purpose.

When I was a kid, I could buy a dollar for ten cents.
308. Ali Asger wrote on 16 May, 2010, 19:34
Vote: 14 39

When life gives you lemon
.
.
.
.
accept it silently
cos you might be having Vitamin C deficiency
309. blarg wrote on 18 May, 2010, 7:15
Vote: 37 12

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.
310. Cupcake wrote on 21 May, 2010, 3:58
Vote: 57 5

Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

Boy: Easy, stop imagining.
311. Sunny wrote on 8 June, 2010, 8:31
Vote: 23 31

If you can’t change a girl, change the girl.
312. salehe hemedi wrote on 17 June, 2010, 10:45
Vote: 18 13

Business is stealing other people’s money legally.
313. Allison wrote on 19 June, 2010, 15:15
Vote: 13 11

I feel so lost without you…. Mostly because you have my compass.
314. Hmmm wrote on 20 June, 2010, 12:10
Vote: 19 7

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.
315. shivduttdeshmukh wrote on 21 June, 2010, 6:42
Vote: 8 37

Can anyone tell me what to do when life offers you an orange…?
316. exdevlin92 wrote on 22 June, 2010, 9:00
Vote: 37 9

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
317. Tin tiN wrote on 22 June, 2010, 9:13
Vote: 27 17

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.
318. saba haghiri wrote on 22 June, 2010, 17:50
Vote: 33 10

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!….. I wanna do it myself
319. Kezzer wrote on 7 July, 2010, 12:46
Vote: 19 4

I am in shape…..Round is a shape.
320. Blueberry Muffin wrote on 8 July, 2010, 17:15
Vote: 9 17

When life gives you apples… Say, what the hell are you thinkin’? You got the wrong fruit!