Short Funny Quotes - Page 17

349 Comments to “Short Funny Quotes”

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321. Brittany B wrote on 11 July, 2010, 8:56
Vote: 17 19

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.
322. Bailey wrote on 13 July, 2010, 23:22
Vote: 42 17

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice.
323. Lynne wrote on 14 July, 2010, 20:05
Vote: 19 11

When i was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.
324. MAC wrote on 17 July, 2010, 1:54
Vote: 11 14

When life gives you lemons..cut them into slices and put them in your corona.
325. Banana nana fofanna wrote on 18 July, 2010, 1:51
Vote: 11 14

When life gives you lemons, throw em back and tell em they can make their own lemonade.
326. kinchotaret wrote on 20 July, 2010, 12:39
Vote: 17 8

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… it just gives people ideas on what to do with it.
327. ada ally wrote on 21 July, 2010, 16:07
Vote: 15 7

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t
328. Flicka wrote on 26 July, 2010, 17:46
Vote: 18 8

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the parents.
329. Melissa wrote on 27 July, 2010, 18:32
Vote: 7 13

When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.
330. thesexyone wrote on 28 July, 2010, 2:31
Vote: 7 6

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.
331. Linda wrote on 28 July, 2010, 21:39
Vote: 17 3

When I get depressed I cut myself …….. a piece of cheesecake.
332. Luke wrote on 28 July, 2010, 22:06
Vote: 22 2

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!
333. blazinherb420 wrote on 29 July, 2010, 6:39
Vote: 18 3

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.
334. Rayray wrote on 30 July, 2010, 3:29
Vote: 11 7

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?
335. Steve wrote on 30 July, 2010, 12:44
Vote: 7 3

I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!
336. Patrick Sullivan wrote on 3 August, 2010, 19:48
Vote: 8 2

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.
337. imo-gadget-303 wrote on 8 August, 2010, 0:56
Vote: 16 2

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.
338. katee wrote on 8 August, 2010, 21:36
Vote: 6 4

You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.

I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.
339. ky wrote on 10 August, 2010, 17:36
Vote: 15 1

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
340. kelvin afotey wrote on 11 August, 2010, 21:51
Vote: 5 4

Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?