When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.
Procrastination, I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.
When I get depressed I cut myself …….. a piece of cheesecake.
Get Well Soon! Why Get Well Soon? Why Not Get Well Now? I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!
Would a fly without wings be called a walk.
Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?
I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!
It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.
Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.
You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!
If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… but it is still on my list
When life gives you snomel, you have dyslexia!
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?
Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!
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When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.
Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.
When I get depressed I cut myself …….. a piece of cheesecake.
Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!
Would a fly without wings be called a walk.
Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?
I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!
It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.
Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.
You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!
If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… but it is still on my list
When life gives you snomel, you have dyslexia!
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?
Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!