Short Funny Quotes
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
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If Barbie was so popular, Why do people buy her friends ?
DONT DRINK AND DRIVE,
SMOKE AND FLY.
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[[420]]
omg i love this one!!!
its hard to love someone that doesnt love you but its harder to know u lovesome one but u lost ur chance with them.
yeahhaa boyyy im talented!! LoL!
when people are dumb
be dumber!
when life gives you crackers….
eat them
when people are mean be meaner
If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you dont have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!
im high on airrrr
why fight to live when we live to die???:)
The sun is not on the bright side of nature, but is on technology’s side of improvement.
When there are no trees in the world , what will people recycle?
You can’t dumb out the dumber dummy.
- Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday…
Sex without love is like food without taste
Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p
What is to be will be, BUT…. What is not to be Could happen
Flying is learning how to fall without hitting the ground.
if you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
no’one is perfect,
well then im no’one
Life’s a B*tch then you die
So F**k the world and let’s get high!
i must me losing it if i cant find it
life is short……..
RIDE FAST!!!!!!!!!!!
if all my friends decided to jump off a bridge…….i wuldnt…..i wuld be at the bottom waiting to catch them.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
when life gives you lemons…throw them over your shoulder and look for an orange
there is hope out there for all, dont bang your head up against the wall
Do not drink and drive
or u might spill the drink.
love looks not with the eyes but with the mind
a man went to a wise man and asked him a question. the wise man said, ‘idk, ask a girl’!!!! hhahaha!
do you clean your pants with windex?
cause i can practically see myself in them;)