Short Funny Quotes
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
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hello these sayings are soooooo stupid but they are sooooo funny i luv them lol hahahahahaha
MY MOTO IS:
SLEEP AND EAT BUT :
SOMETIMES YOU EAT TOO MUCH AND YOU CANT SLEEP
SOMETIMES YOU SLEEP AND YOU MISS THE MEAL
LIFE IS A TOUGH BALANCE
LEARN THE ART OF DISCIPLINE
IT WOULD MAKE YOU DISCIPLINED
LEARN THE ART OF ART
IT WOULD MAKE YOU AN ARTIST
love rules without rules
CUTE BUT PSYCHO.
School is a jail, the cells are the classes, teachers are the security guard and WE ARE THE PRISONERS!
you are just jealous because i act retarded and people still luv me. LoL
I broke hearts many times
My hearts been broken many times
And weirdly enough, the world keeps spinning
OH
Guess that means I haven’t found him yet
hehe
duh
I love love love this quote!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
life is not worth living if u do not have chocolate
what is stupid,crapppy, and a waste of paper?
homework!
to learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?
I used to be normail until I met those losers I call my
BEST FRIENDS!!!!
i want to kill the hottest person alive… but suicide is a crime!
Dinosaurs Eat Meat
You Are Meat
RUN!!!!!!!!!
When you get old and your kids ask
where all the money went, show
them the vacation videos.
it ain’t a lonely world IF U AIN’T A LONER…
Dolet that is not even funny god is perfect
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.
Love is just like hate but someone gets candy.
All I want is for one guy to prove that they are not all the same.
DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.
My life is one of those
YOU HAD TO BE THERE
jokes.
I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”
if our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. what do chinese people use? tooth picks?
“she’s got a face like a bag of smashed crabs”
Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”???