Dont face your problem if the problem is your FACE hehehe
What do you call a cow during an earthquake? Milkshake
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Nine out of ten people like chocolate, the tenth person always lies hehehe
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
The future just ain’t what it used to be.
True skill comes without effort.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?
I know the secret of life. But I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.
My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.
I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist. I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.
I’m not fat. My stomach is just in 3D.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk & the Boy next to you took three, what would you have? Student: A Fight.
Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
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