Short Funny Quotes

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Submitted by: Jess

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Sister: Really?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

Submitted by: lisa

POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on

Submitted by: DeAnna _starfish

If love is blind then how did it find us???

Submitted by: UR MOMS NEW BOY FRIEND

Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p

Submitted by: YoungBlood

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)

Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.

Submitted by: exdevlin92

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: therandomone

Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Submitted by: levi

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.

Submitted by: David Hudson

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