Short Funny Quotes

Sleep till you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy

Submitted by: Phillip

What does it mean when you live on a busy street and your mom tells you to play on the road?

Submitted by: Way2Hot

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Submitted by: Jess

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Bravo1560

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Sister: Really?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

Submitted by: lisa
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POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on

Submitted by: DeAnna _starfish

If love is blind then how did it find us???

Submitted by: UR MOMS NEW BOY FRIEND

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy

Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p

Submitted by: YoungBlood

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll
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Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Submitted by: Ronak Mota

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.

Submitted by: exdevlin92

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