Short Funny Quotes - Page 12
Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.
If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.
When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!
No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)
Boy:Hi can we be friends?
Boy: Come on I’m rich.
Girl: Hi I’m Claire, 22 yrs old,single.
Boy: My name is rich…26 yrs old…can we meet for dinner?
Girl: Sorry I don’t talk to strangers.
Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P
Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.
I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.
Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
True skill comes without effort.
I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
So I ran into my ex the other day…
then I put it in reverse and hit him again
Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
I’m not insecure… I just don’t care.
Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.
Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.
The correct phobic term for the fear of long words? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (!)
Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?