Short Funny Quotes
If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.