Short Funny Quotes - Page 12

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My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Funny Quote: My opinions may have changed, but not...

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Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.

Submitted by: Nana Quajo

Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Quote: Ocean, n. A body of water occupying...

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If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?

Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Submitted by: DUANE. G. FINCH. SR.

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.

Funny Quote: Things that are difficult to say when...

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For all people who make me laugh : Thank you.

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby

I’ve lost many things… Of all those, my mind is at the bottom of my ‘to find’ list…
You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.

Submitted by: koolio

A friend of mine: Do you think I am funny?
Me: yeah, every time I look at you.

Submitted by: Nhlaks

What the heck does the “Z” in “LOLZ” mean…”Laugh Out Loud…Zebras?”

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p

Submitted by: heaven

The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.

Funny Quote: The dumber you are, the smarter you...

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Dont be so open minded that your brain falls out !!!!!!!!

Submitted by: Nour

“Global Warning Or Not…I’m Increasingly Getting Hotter Day By Day”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
– Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.
– Rodney Dangerfield

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Who could be so cruel too put a ‘S’ in lisp.

Submitted by: James

Fact of life after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF!!!

Submitted by: nida

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
Chris Rock

Funny Quote: You know the world is going crazy...

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Submitted by: the funnymaster123

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk & the Boy next to you took three, what would you have?
Student: A Fight.

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Submitted by: Phillip

All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.

Funny Quote: All my life I thought air was...

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Submitted by: Jessy

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