Short Funny Quotes
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.
Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember