Short Funny Quotes

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Submitted by: Ronak Mota

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: therandomone

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.

Submitted by: David Hudson

If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3

Submitted by: Xx.Cutie_Pie.xX

Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…

Submitted by: Alie Morino

I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Submitted by: .:kaeley:.
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I never fall off.
I just,
Dismount with style.

Submitted by: HORSA_CLOTHING

Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think

Submitted by: Xhw

My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Submitted by: Rachael :)
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Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

Submitted by: allison

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna

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