Short Funny Quotes

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC

Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Submitted by: levi

I never fall off.
I just,
Dismount with style.

Submitted by: HORSA_CLOTHING

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.

Submitted by: David Hudson

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: therandomone
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Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…

Submitted by: Alie Morino

If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3

Submitted by: Xx.Cutie_Pie.xX

I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Submitted by: .:kaeley:.

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think

Submitted by: Xhw
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The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Submitted by: Rachael :)

Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

Submitted by: allison

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna

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