Short Funny Quotes - Page 12
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
– Ambrose Bierce
If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)
Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.
For all people who make me laugh : Thank you.
If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.
I’ve lost many things… Of all those, my mind is at the bottom of my ‘to find’ list…
You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.
A friend of mine: Do you think I am funny?
Me: yeah, every time I look at you.
What the heck does the “Z” in “LOLZ” mean…”Laugh Out Loud…Zebras?”
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.
Dont be so open minded that your brain falls out !!!!!!!!
“Global Warning Or Not…I’m Increasingly Getting Hotter Day By Day”
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Who could be so cruel too put a ‘S’ in lisp.
Fact of life after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF!!!
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock
Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk & the Boy next to you took three, what would you have?
Student: A Fight.
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.