Short Funny Quotes
If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
School for 12 years, college for 4 more years, then you work until you die. Cool.
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.