Short Funny Quotes

If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3

Submitted by: Xx.Cutie_Pie.xX

Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…

Submitted by: Alie Morino

I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Submitted by: .:kaeley:.

Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think

Submitted by: Xhw

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Submitted by: Rachael :)

I never fall off.
I just,
Dismount with style.

Submitted by: HORSA_CLOTHING

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

Submitted by: allison

My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Submitted by: Tina

Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember

Submitted by: brianne&&cassie ann

Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.

Submitted by: Bonface stom

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