Short Funny Quotes - Page 13
I don’t discriminate… I hate everyone.:D
When I try and make ends meet, someone comes along and move the ends.
The trick to entertaining idiots is to give them a piece of paper that says flip this on both sides.
Women’s fault are many. Guys only have two; everything they say and everything they do.:p
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you actually look forward to going there.
From great power comes a great electricity bill.
When life gives you lemons. Ask someone if they know how to make lemonade.
If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she would make an outfit out of them.
Now…correct me if I’m right!
Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.
Does a collection of all collections includes itself?
They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.
It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, all that matters is if you’re thirsty or not.
Thank God, I’m an atheist.
It’s more fun when it’s illegal.
You call it stalking, I call it love.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
14 Year Old: Santa isn’t real!
6 Year Old: Neither is Edward Cullen!
Guess who ran away crying.:p
You’re with my ex? Here, you can have the remainder of my sandwich too.
If brain surgeons call what they do practice than what’s the real thing?
Teacher : why are you late?
Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?
People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.
Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.:)
If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.
To challenge us, you have to be good. To tie us, you have to be better. To beat us, you HAVE to be kidding!
When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
When life gives you lemons demand for lemonade.
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice then laugh at those who are confused.
Communism is like prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.
How do you eat a computer? One Byte at a time.
Just because you’re not paranoid does not mean the have stopped fallowing you.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
I asked God for a bike but I know He doesn’t work that way… So I stole a bike then asked for forgiveness.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?