Short Funny Quotes - Page 13


Do a fish ever gets thirsty?

Submitted by: parth

Welcome to the ool notice there’s no p in it lets keep it that way.

Submitted by: elisheva

It has reached a point in life that it’s an expense to just get out of bed in the morning and will cost you more if you stay there.

Submitted by: Ray Lewis

When life gives you lemons, trade them for chocolate. Chip cookies!

Submitted by: straydog

I do 5 sit- ups a day. It may seem like a small amount but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I meed to stop saying, “How stupid can you be?” because people are starting to take it as a challenge!.

Submitted by: IRockLikeARockstar

Age and wisdom don’t necessarily go together… Some people just become stupid with more authority.

Submitted by: stephanie

If life gives you lemons. Open a lemon shop!

Submitted by: AlexRiley:D

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Submitted by: In case you didn't notice...

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Submitted by: Lexi

Every time I meet a nice girl she has a boyfriend. 3 of them.

Submitted by: amdalorn

Life is like a box of chocolates, doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Submitted by: Jeffrey

I know a thing or two about procrastination. You know what, how about I tell you later. :)

Submitted by: Fiifi

Robber1: Hey! Who are you. I came here first.
Robber2: What!! I’m calling the police.

Submitted by: Fiifi

I have a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
And you read that last sentence twice to make sure we didn’t troll you yet again.

Submitted by: Serena

15 out of 10 people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Pip

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you.
Immature is only a word boring people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: ME

Guys- No shirt, no service
Girls- No shirt, no charge

Submitted by: jnl691

You’re just jealous cos the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: JAMES BONG

When you feel sad. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “Damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit. Cos liars go to hell !!!!

Submitted by: Sara

What wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? What do you mean if a woodchuck could chuck wood?! Are you telling me woodchucks can’t actually chuck wood?!?!!!?!?!
I didn’t forget. I just remembered too late. ;)
What’s the deal with lemons? Why can’t life give us chocolate? Or homework passes?

Submitted by: Kt

If school is so helpful, explain why summer break makes me happy.

Submitted by: Dovah

I still wonder why goods transported by a “Ship” are called “Cargo” and those by cars are called “Shipment”.

Submitted by: ƒLªwL³sŠ

Apple wanted to make a iPod for kids. Apparently the name “iTouch kids” didn’t sit very well.

Submitted by: Nafeesa

Duck tape is like the force. It has a dark side, a light side, and keeps the universe together.

Submitted by: Kyrianna

Where did you meet your wife? At the family reunion?

Submitted by: Alfred

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