Short Funny Quotes

I scored high on my drug test.

Submitted by: Manny

Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Submitted by: Nicked

When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.

Submitted by: SUmmy

Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run…

Submitted by: Selva

Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

I would agree with you if you were right

Submitted by: cmd

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny

The future just ain’t what it used to be.

Submitted by: Rockymtnguy

True skill comes without effort.

Submitted by: Longfellow

I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.

Submitted by: Sara

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey

Dont face your problem if the problem is your FACE hehehe

Submitted by: Lyka

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