Short Funny Quotes

Forget the dog! Beware of kids!

Submitted by: Susan (14 years old)

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa

Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Submitted by: Nicked

When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.

Submitted by: SUmmy

I scored high on my drug test.

Submitted by: Manny

School for 12 years, college for 4 more years, then you work until you die. Cool.

Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run…

Submitted by: Selva

I would agree with you if you were right

Submitted by: cmd

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

The future just ain’t what it used to be.

Submitted by: Rockymtnguy

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

True skill comes without effort.

Submitted by: Longfellow

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey

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