Short Funny Quotes - Page 13

2

Got back from grocery store. Reading the ingredients I noticed:
The lemonade was made with artificial flavoring.
But the dish soap was made with real lemons.

Submitted by: oicu812
8

I’m so cool, ice cubes get jealous.

Submitted by: Aly
5

If I melt dry ice and I swam in it, I wouldn’t get wet?

Submitted by: scott boii
9

If I’m doing God’s work, then what is God doing?

Submitted by: funny girl
3

It’s okay dude we can be loners together.
I just licked your face so now I own it.
Wigs are made of your hair that gets caught in the drain.
What language do deaf people think in?

Submitted by: Ciara
7

Do a fish ever gets thirsty?

Submitted by: parth
4

Welcome to the ool notice there’s no p in it lets keep it that way.

Submitted by: elisheva
3

It has reached a point in life that it’s an expense to just get out of bed in the morning and will cost you more if you stay there.

Submitted by: Ray Lewis
5

When life gives you lemons, trade them for chocolate. Chip cookies!

Submitted by: straydog
3

I do 5 sit- ups a day. It may seem like a small amount but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I meed to stop saying, “How stupid can you be?” because people are starting to take it as a challenge!.

Submitted by: IRockLikeARockstar
2

Age and wisdom don’t necessarily go together… Some people just become stupid with more authority.

Submitted by: stephanie
7

If life gives you lemons. Open a lemon shop!

Submitted by: AlexRiley:D
6

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Submitted by: In case you didn't notice...
6

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Submitted by: Lexi
2

Every time I meet a nice girl she has a boyfriend. 3 of them.

Submitted by: amdalorn
4

Life is like a box of chocolates, doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Submitted by: Jeffrey
4

I know a thing or two about procrastination. You know what, how about I tell you later. :)

Submitted by: Fiifi
7

Robber1: Hey! Who are you. I came here first.
Robber2: What!! I’m calling the police.

Submitted by: Fiifi
11

I have a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
And you read that last sentence twice to make sure we didn’t troll you yet again.

Submitted by: Serena
9

15 out of 10 people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Pip
2

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you.
Immature is only a word boring people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: ME
6

Guys- No shirt, no service
Girls- No shirt, no charge

Submitted by: jnl691
4

You’re just jealous cos the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: JAMES BONG
10

When you feel sad. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “Damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit. Cos liars go to hell !!!!

Submitted by: Sara
5

What wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? What do you mean if a woodchuck could chuck wood?! Are you telling me woodchucks can’t actually chuck wood?!?!!!?!?!
I didn’t forget. I just remembered too late. ;)
What’s the deal with lemons? Why can’t life give us chocolate? Or homework passes?

Submitted by: Kt

Copyright © 2006-2014 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!