Short Funny Quotes
Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.
Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I’m just like “I love food”.
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”