If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it. A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of. A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
What the heck does the “Z” in “LOLZ” mean…”Laugh Out Loud…Zebras?”
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. – George Carlin
My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.
If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire. – David O. McKay
You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”? I just go to my friend’s house and try it.
We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
Feed the hunger or else the hunger will eat you…
Just because I have ADHD does not mean I can’t pay attent…
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