Short Funny Quotes - Page 13

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Heaven doesn’t want me…and hell is too scared I’ll take over.

Submitted by: J3$$a

If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?

Submitted by: haylse

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Submitted by: D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R123

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Submitted by: Kazzaaa

When you get old and your kids ask
where all the money went, show
them the vacation videos.

Submitted by: mayur

“THE IMPOSSIBLE…” what nobody can do until some body does…….

Submitted by: ukdarkangel

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Mother Teresa

Funny Quote: Never drive faster than your guardian angel...

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Submitted by: Sam

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Funny Quote: Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you...

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Submitted by: Mark Cromo

If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!

Submitted by: Kassie
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