Short Funny Quotes - Page 15
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.
You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?
The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.
What does it mean when you live on a busy street and your mom tells you to play on the road?
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields
Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”
Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!
All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.
I have great faith in fools; self- confidence my friends call it.
- Edgar Allen Poe
It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.
I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!
If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D
A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.
I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.
Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!
You call it immature, I call it having a good time.
You call it a crime, I call it legal.. I didn’t get caught yet.
Wanna see the rest of my dictionary?