Short Funny Quotes
The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.
How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…
Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.
Drive it like you stole it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling
Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services
Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?
Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.
I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.