Short Funny Quotes

People always tell you to never say never so just say I cant.

Submitted by: Ne-Ne

Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.

Submitted by: George

The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.

Submitted by: Blayze

How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..

Submitted by: joker321

When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

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He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
She: Why?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi!
She: Hi.
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Submitted by: Natalie

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

Submitted by: tisha ;)

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko

Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.

Submitted by: sweety

Drive it like you stole it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by: Reyna

Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services

Submitted by: Captain Munch
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Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor

The first 40 years of your childhood are always the hardest.

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret

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