Short Funny Quotes

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)

Submitted by: Augusta :)

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Submitted by: Holorunranty

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot

My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.

Submitted by: Loshani Sigwadi

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…

Submitted by: AmberLee

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

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I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny

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