Short Funny Quotes - Page 15

6

Today I sweated more than lady gaga would when she’s trying to make a gospel album.

Submitted by: Alexis
14

Virginity is not a dignity but a lack of opportunity.

Submitted by: rabach
3

In 1st grade when someone was in an argument the solution was to say sorry. Now that you’re in 11th grade, the solution is to transfer schools.

Submitted by: ham
4

A criminal is not sorry for committing the crime, but he is very sorry that he is going to jail.

Submitted by: ham
3

Years from now we’ll look back on this and laugh. If we’re out of jail by then.

Submitted by: ham
11

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CAPSLOCK?!!

Submitted by: ham
3

I feel like a pelican, no matter which way I turn, there is always a huge bill in front of my face.
When you get a deep cut, you get worried when you start bleeding. I would be more worried if it didn’t start to bleed actually.
A treehouse doesn’t have a kitchen, a bedroom, a hallway, a bathroom, a porch, doors, or even a chimney, so please. Just call it a tree box.

Submitted by: ME
3

When curiosity sees a bright red button that says “Don’t push”, it only reads the second word.

Submitted by: ME
6

If Mickey is a mouse, Minnie is a mouse, Donald is a duck, goofy is a dog, then what the heck is going on with Pluto? Is Mickey keeping a mentally handicapped guy as a pet?

Submitted by: edward
4

What did the stop light say to the car?
Don’t look I’m changing.

Submitted by: happy child
4

Some say the glass is half empty, some say half full, while they are arguing, I get a refill.

Submitted by: happy child
11

When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade, plant a freaking tree.
Sometimes I just stop and think, “Where the hell am I?”

Submitted by: unorganized social rebellion
9

The amount of people that confuse “to” and “too” is amazing two me.

Submitted by: mish
3

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~
12

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in Justin Bieber’s eyes and run.

Submitted by: Lord Slifer
7

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don’t matter he ain’t coming!!

Submitted by: her..
3

It’s not the miles that wears you down, it’s the pebble in your shoe.

Submitted by: Hanny
4

I talk to myself cos I prefer talking to a better class of people.;- )

Submitted by: Oluwajerry
3

Who says I can’t fix things. Gimme a duct tape!

Submitted by: Salman
11

Bad Spellers – UNTIE!!

Submitted by: Caitlyn
8

Predictive texting socks.

Submitted by: unknown
21

In the beginning, God created idiots. This was for practice. Then he created customer service.

Submitted by: Punk mcChump
7

If there is a golden rule then is there a silver and bronze rule?

Submitted by: Shizuka Hyuga
20

Wal- mart… do they like make walls there?

Submitted by: william holt
13

I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.
– Arnold Schwarzenegger

Submitted by: william holt

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