Short Funny Quotes
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.
Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services
Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.
Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.
Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.