Short Funny Quotes - Page 16
Someone asked me where I was born, I said the local hospital!
They all say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. But then we’d all have a sour lemonade.
The guy who invented the wheel is an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, now he is the genius!!
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on the roll. B- ) or you’re taking cr*p from some a**hole. (:
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
- Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
See the thing about Chuck Norris’ third fist, under his beard, it’s actually was his choice to have a 3rd arm instead of a third leg.
People say “Speed kills”, they are wrong.
It’s the sudden stop that kills.
Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.
Some see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full, but I am just wondering who the hell is drinking my beer.
When my boss said “You’ve been late for the 5th time!” I thought to myself, “Yay! It’s Friday!”