Short Funny Quotes
When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
– George Carlin
When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…
What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
If you must lie, be brief.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.
If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!
Some people are wise, some are otherwise.
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.
Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.