Short Funny Quotes

When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.

Submitted by: shubh

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER

Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…

Submitted by: larry

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Milkshake

Submitted by: ameago

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.

Submitted by: Sherry Qadeer

If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!

Submitted by: katie

Some people are wise, some are otherwise.

Submitted by: Azrael

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

Submitted by: Katie

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