Short Funny Quotes - Page 16
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They all say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. But then we’d all have a sour lemonade.
I don’t understand why funeral has the word “Fun” in it.
The guy who invented the wheel is an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, now he is the genius!!
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on the roll. B- ) or you’re taking cr*p from some a**hole. (:
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
- Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
See the thing about Chuck Norris’ third fist, under his beard, it’s actually was his choice to have a 3rd arm instead of a third leg.
People say “Speed kills”, they are wrong.
It’s the sudden stop that kills.
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it most…don’t use it.
Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.
I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
Do unto other, before they do it to you.
Some see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full, but I am just wondering who the hell is drinking my beer.
When my boss said “You’ve been late for the 5th time!” I thought to myself, “Yay! It’s Friday!”
Pshh. You call that a backflip? Here hold my beer.
My brothers and sisters all hated me cos I was an only child.