Short Funny Quotes
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
– George Carlin
I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.
When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…
What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
If you must lie, be brief.
Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.
If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!
Some people are wise, some are otherwise.
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.
Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.