Short Funny Quotes

Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret

When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.

Submitted by: shubh
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Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Milkshake

Submitted by: ameago

I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.

Submitted by: Karen V :D

Math problems: Jane bought 72 sofas…WHO THE HELL WOULD BUY 72 SOFAS?!

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…

Submitted by: larry
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Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER

When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria

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