Short Funny Quotes - Page 16

6

You call it immature, I call it having a good time.
You call it a crime, I call it legal.. I didn’t get caught yet.
Wanna see the rest of my dictionary?

Submitted by: Cheyenne
6

Why do I need to learn how to find X and Y when solving maths…how many doctors, pilots, or engineers have you seen finding X or Y?

Submitted by: paul josh
21

Gangster: You still wear a helmet?
Me: Yeah. I’d rather not end up in the hospital.;)

Submitted by: Emily
10

I was born brilliant but studies ruined me.

Submitted by: shanky
16

I’m shocked why people often ask me “Are you sure?” Oh God please tell them.. I’m Natts…:D

Submitted by: Natts
16

If life gives you lemons ask it for sugar, water, ice, and a stand by a hot busy road.

Submitted by: Sabrina
11

When I smile the world smiles with me, when I laugh everybody thinks I’m mad.

Submitted by: Cora
13

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria
19

Hang in there like a hair in a a biscuit!

Submitted by: Ashley
7

To be old and wise you first must be young and stupid, that’s my excuse.

Submitted by: Honey
7

Cousin: Why are you so lazy?
Me: I’m not lazy I’m just saving my energy.

Submitted by: vanessa
11

Think if man evolved from monkeys then why do we still have monkeys?

Submitted by: Himanshew kagz
9

Every time I meet the girl of my dreams someone wakes me up.

Submitted by: anonymous
6

Who is dumber:
The one who actually made the bro code into a book… Or… The one who buys it on the internet?

Submitted by: soccer swag
7

Pans…can be used as weapons or shields.

Submitted by: mattie posted it but timber wrote it
5

I love sweet people, they taste good.

Submitted by: Culinary student
10

Spoons…bowls with handles.

Submitted by: mattie posted it but timber wrote it
7

I’m as single as a dollar and I’m not looking for change.:)

Submitted by: Bri
8

If someone asks, why is it so hot in here? Say, Okay I’ll get out if you want.

Submitted by: anynomus
42

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Funny Quote: If at first you don’t succeed, then...

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Submitted by: Adrian
28

When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into water guns and squirt people in the eyes.

Submitted by: Danielle
8

He said: A girlfriend is like coffee. You throw her if it’s no longer hot.
She said: A boyfriend is like liquor. You throw up if you can no longer take it.

Submitted by: rexie
15

I lost one hundred and thirty pounds … But I don’t miss my wife anymore.

Submitted by: jeremy Garcia
26

The patient dog eats the fattest bone…who eats the meat? The fastest dog of course!

Submitted by: tsar
14

Change is inevitable… Except from vending machines.

Submitted by: Alexa

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