Short Funny Quotes - Page 16

9

Think if man evolved from monkeys then why do we still have monkeys?

Submitted by: Himanshew kagz
8

Every time I meet the girl of my dreams someone wakes me up.

Submitted by: anonymous
6

Who is dumber:
The one who actually made the bro code into a book… Or… The one who buys it on the internet?

Submitted by: soccer swag
7

Pans…can be used as weapons or shields.

Submitted by: mattie posted it but timber wrote it
4

I love sweet people, they taste good.

Submitted by: Culinary student
9

Spoons…bowls with handles.

Submitted by: mattie posted it but timber wrote it
6

I’m as single as a dollar and I’m not looking for change.:)

Submitted by: Bri
6

If someone asks, why is it so hot in here? Say, Okay I’ll get out if you want.

Submitted by: anynomus
27

When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into water guns and squirt people in the eyes.

Submitted by: Danielle
7

He said: A girlfriend is like coffee. You throw her if it’s no longer hot.
She said: A boyfriend is like liquor. You throw up if you can no longer take it.

Submitted by: rexie
13

I lost one hundred and thirty pounds … But I don’t miss my wife anymore.

Submitted by: jeremy Garcia
25

The patient dog eats the fattest bone…who eats the meat? The fastest dog of course!

Submitted by: tsar
13

Change is inevitable… Except from vending machines.

Submitted by: Alexa
18

I don’t care if the glass is half empty or half full…because I’m not thirsty anymore.

Submitted by: MeMyselfAnI
13

If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

Submitted by: Aniqa
8

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue
25

I don’t keep track of time. Time keeps track of me.

Submitted by: Nathan
11

I’ll admit I’m hot, but don’t blame me for global warming.

Submitted by: Nicole
8

Are you free this weekend?… No, I’ll be expensive.

Submitted by: Peter
7

Is stupid making me drugs?

Submitted by: Spacekat
12

Curiosity killed the cat…luckily I’m not a cat.

Submitted by: KnowsAllTellsNone
9

Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, crime doesn’t pay. So, if you keep on reading, you’ll go broke. See what I’m sayin’ here?

Submitted by: Capri
6

Don’t try to be different, just be good. Because now a days just being good is different enough.

Submitted by: Shreyansh1512
10

The amount of money that is in your bank at the time of death, is the extra work you did which wasn’t necessary.

Submitted by: Shreyansh1512
11

If at first you don’t succeed, give up and let someone else do it.
If in doubt, Google it.

Submitted by: Jessica

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