Short Funny Quotes

When Life Gives You Lemons… Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.
I Totally Just Made That Up 8 ]

Submitted by: Bridget

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.

Submitted by: Ale Angel

Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Submitted by: DUANE. G. FINCH. SR.

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

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