Short Funny Quotes - Page 18

7

I was born a week early, so I’ve been running late ever since to make up for it.

Submitted by: ronzul
11

When life hands you lemons, grab the tequila and salt and don’t forget to call me over.

Submitted by: KWAAAAAA
12

Did you ever notice “The + I.R.S. = THEIRS”.

Submitted by: T STAR
1

Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.

Submitted by: sweety
13

Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
Backwards?
I’m just that talented.:)

Submitted by: VolleyballStar
20

They say,”Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” well, I think the guns help! Because if you stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill too many people.

Submitted by: Kit kat
16

Curiosity killed the cat, my dog saw what happened and became smartest.

Submitted by: prince naganjel
6

If symptoms persist, insult your doctor.

Submitted by: Jerson dunlao
13

Had a dream I was awesome woke up…. Still awesome!!!

Submitted by: Jenna
16

When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!

Submitted by: Kim
4

Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.

Submitted by: smel(:
11

Guns don’t kill people, it’s mostly the bullets.

Submitted by: Amethyst
11

Sir, if I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.
- Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it!

Submitted by: Xavier
12

I went to the point of no return…and came back.

Submitted by: elisa
8

I don’t discriminate… I hate everyone.:D

Submitted by: Mariella
9

When I try and make ends meet, someone comes along and move the ends.

Submitted by: Amy
10

The trick to entertaining idiots is to give them a piece of paper that says flip this on both sides.

Submitted by: Sarah
6

Women’s fault are many. Guys only have two; everything they say and everything they do.:p

Submitted by: Mariella
5

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you actually look forward to going there.

Submitted by: Travis
5

From great power comes a great electricity bill.

Submitted by: shaqz
12

When life gives you lemons. Ask someone if they know how to make lemonade.

Submitted by: Emily
11

If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she would make an outfit out of them.

Submitted by: Crystal
7

Now…correct me if I’m right!

Submitted by: jordan
9

Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.

Submitted by: Abbie
9

Does a collection of all collections includes itself?

Submitted by: WhyHi!

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