Short Funny Quotes - Page 18
Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.
Guns don’t kill people, it’s mostly the bullets.
Sir, if I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.
- Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it!
I went to the point of no return…and came back.
I don’t discriminate… I hate everyone.:D
When I try and make ends meet, someone comes along and move the ends.
The trick to entertaining idiots is to give them a piece of paper that says flip this on both sides.
Women’s fault are many. Guys only have two; everything they say and everything they do.:p
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you actually look forward to going there.
From great power comes a great electricity bill.
When life gives you lemons. Ask someone if they know how to make lemonade.
If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she would make an outfit out of them.
Now…correct me if I’m right!
Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.
Does a collection of all collections includes itself?
They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.
It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, all that matters is if you’re thirsty or not.
Thank God, I’m an atheist.
It’s more fun when it’s illegal.
You call it stalking, I call it love.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
14 Year Old: Santa isn’t real!
6 Year Old: Neither is Edward Cullen!
Guess who ran away crying.:p
You’re with my ex? Here, you can have the remainder of my sandwich too.
If brain surgeons call what they do practice than what’s the real thing?
Teacher : why are you late?
Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P