Short Funny Quotes - Page 18
My Reality Check bounced.
I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)
Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!
When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!
Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
– Groucho Marx
Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.
I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso
Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.
“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…
I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.
If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.
Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.
Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
– Ambrose Bierce