Short Funny Quotes - Page 18

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11

14 Year Old: Santa isn’t real!
6 Year Old: Neither is Edward Cullen!
Guess who ran away crying.:p

Submitted by: TWILIGHT - Hearts
206

Good girls go to heaven, Bad girls go everywhere!

Submitted by: Chindhu
9

If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she would make an outfit out of them.

Submitted by: Crystal
3

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

19

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite
140

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

Submitted by: Katie
12

Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; I’m not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

10

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

10

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

10

Everyone has a photographic memory… Some just don’t have film.

10

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen

13

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Submitted by: David lynch
29

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by: sparihar10@facebook.com
11

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

2

Some say the glass is half empty, some say half full, while they are arguing, I get a refill.

Submitted by: happy child
6

I’m as single as a dollar and I’m not looking for change.:)

Submitted by: Bri
97

Tell me what you need, I will tell you how to get along without it.
Never give the devil a ride, he will always want to drive.

Submitted by: Hashim
25

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..
5

To be old and wise you first must be young and stupid, that’s my excuse.

Submitted by: Honey
11

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.


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