Short Funny Quotes
When Life Gives You Lemons… Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.
I Totally Just Made That Up 8 ]
You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.
Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers
Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.
Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.
This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D
I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.