Short Funny Quotes - Page 19

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Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Quote: Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when...

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I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Submitted by: Ronak Mota

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee

Thanks to all those who ask the awkward questions on yahoo answers so that we don’t have to.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

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