Short Funny Quotes - Page 19

6

Women’s fault are many. Guys only have two; everything they say and everything they do.:p

Submitted by: Mariella
5

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you actually look forward to going there.

Submitted by: Travis
5

From great power comes a great electricity bill.

Submitted by: shaqz
12

When life gives you lemons. Ask someone if they know how to make lemonade.

Submitted by: Emily
11

If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she would make an outfit out of them.

Submitted by: Crystal
8

Now…correct me if I’m right!

Submitted by: jordan
9

Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.

Submitted by: Abbie
10

Does a collection of all collections includes itself?

Submitted by: WhyHi!
13

They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.

Submitted by: Ben
11

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, all that matters is if you’re thirsty or not.

Submitted by: Logic
31

Thank God, I’m an atheist.

Submitted by: ArunKumar.R.K(AKRK)
10

It’s more fun when it’s illegal.

Submitted by: Brad
9

You call it stalking, I call it love.

Submitted by: Tracie
4

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey
12

14 Year Old: Santa isn’t real!
6 Year Old: Neither is Edward Cullen!
Guess who ran away crying.:p

Submitted by: TWILIGHT - Hearts
15

You’re with my ex? Here, you can have the remainder of my sandwich too.

Submitted by: Precious
6

If brain surgeons call what they do practice than what’s the real thing?

Submitted by: Melody
10

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs)
8

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan
1

People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: mooii
235

Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Funny Quote: Everybody wishes they could go to heaven...

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Submitted by: Wise man
17

Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.:)

Submitted by: Sarah O.
5

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl
8

To challenge us, you have to be good. To tie us, you have to be better. To beat us, you HAVE to be kidding!

Submitted by: Claire
18

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

Submitted by: @jokesdostietc

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