Short Funny Quotes

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen

My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.


I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.


My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
Ashleigh Brilliant

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

If others can do it…
..let them do it…

Submitted by: g0f0

Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

Submitted by: ME!!!

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