Short Funny Quotes - Page 19

8

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan
1

People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: mooii
16

Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.:)

Submitted by: Sarah O.
5

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl
8

To challenge us, you have to be good. To tie us, you have to be better. To beat us, you HAVE to be kidding!

Submitted by: Claire
17

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

Submitted by: @jokesdostietc
18

When life gives you lemons demand for lemonade.

Submitted by: Brady
16

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice then laugh at those who are confused.

Submitted by: 33Eclipse
10

Communism is like prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.

Submitted by: Phoenix
12

How do you eat a computer? One Byte at a time.
Just because you’re not paranoid does not mean the have stopped fallowing you.

Submitted by: Draphin
8

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Submitted by: Phil
22

I asked God for a bike but I know He doesn’t work that way… So I stole a bike then asked for forgiveness.

Submitted by: renee
19

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey
29

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin
38

Cowboys ride horses.
Shouldn’t they be called horseboys???

Submitted by: manuela
13

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy
22

Pulling a door that clearly said “Push”.

Submitted by: Nikki
23

Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…

Submitted by: Sosthy
21

Don’t trouble the trouble unless the trouble troubles you…if you trouble the trouble ..the trouble will double trouble you.

Submitted by: aditya
100

Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Read it backwards.

Submitted by: Desirae
41

As long as the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves.

Submitted by: Kristy Sommars
7

One thing wrong with common sense, it’s not very common anymore.

Submitted by: Cofussion
17

Save the planet. It’s the only one with cute boys.

Submitted by: gg
10

My curiosity didn’t kill the cat but it surely scared the hell out of it.

Submitted by: neon
15

Sometimes I play a game with my friends called “Staying Away”.

Submitted by: onlykylsen3kings

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