Short Funny Quotes

I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok
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There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
Ashleigh Brilliant

If others can do it…
..let them do it…

Submitted by: g0f0
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I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

Submitted by: ME!!!

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