Short Funny Quotes
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
Smile…It confuses people..!!
DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacfully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car…
I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!