Short Funny Quotes

I swear, I don’t mind being fat…Until we reach a mall. Then I wish I was skinny!

I’m not fat. I’m just so sexy that it overflows.

What do you call a fat girl dancing in a club? Alone.

I’m in shape. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong one.

Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That’s 10 years in a row now…

I’m not saying she’s fat. I’m just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know…. She’d be three of them.

Want the most simple cure for childhood obesity? Ice cream trucks that don’t stop.

Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.

I’m not fat. My stomach is just in 3D.

Please don’t wear skinny jeans, if you don’t have any skinny genes.

Music teacher: ‘What’s your favorite musical instrument?’ Fat kid: ‘The lunch bell.’

If bars don’t serve drunk people, I don’t think McDonald’s should be able to serve fat people.

Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.

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