Short Funny Quotes

I feel like I should clean the house so I’m going to take a nap until that feeling passes.

Traverse: One of two ways to stop while skiing. Tree: The other method.

You can ski on zis side of ze mountain, or on zat side of ze mountain, but not in ze middle

I’m so sad it’s Friday. I wish it was Monday already’ said No one in history, ever.

I know every day is a gift, but where’s the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.

It’s Friday! I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.

Ahhh Friday…my second favorite F word!

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I would like to thank God and Ice Cube for Friday!

The Friday drink fairy is here. I keep telling her it’s too early, she just laughs and says, ‘Go on, I dare you.’ Well friends you know me… I love a dare!

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: Boom Shakalaka

Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Jack Daniels and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

Everybody has their Favourite Villain and MONDAY IS MINE.

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I don’t Think there will be Enough Coffee or Middle Fingers for This Monday.

After Monday, Tuesday even the calendar says W.T.F.

Tuesday is Monday’s Ugly Sister.

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