Short Funny Quotes

I’m in shape. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong one.

Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That’s 10 years in a row now…

I’m not saying she’s fat. I’m just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know…. She’d be three of them.

Want the most simple cure for childhood obesity? Ice cream trucks that don’t stop.

Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.

I’m not fat. My stomach is just in 3D.

Please don’t wear skinny jeans, if you don’t have any skinny genes.

Music teacher: ‘What’s your favorite musical instrument?’ Fat kid: ‘The lunch bell.’

If bars don’t serve drunk people, I don’t think McDonald’s should be able to serve fat people.

Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable!

Brain cells come and brain cells go but fat cells live forever!

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

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