Short Funny Quotes - Page 2

Save paper, don’t do home work.

Submitted by: Allyson

Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.

Submitted by: I

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
It always gets laughs!

Submitted by: Callie W.

I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )

Submitted by: ArmenianGrl

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

Submitted by: Jaime

Save water and shower together

Submitted by: Emilee

I love love love this quote!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.

Submitted by: Beckers

Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?

Submitted by: win_ringette

I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.

Submitted by: Susan

When life gives you lemons,
make grape juice,
then sit back,
and let the wold wonder how you did it.

Submitted by: Robyn

It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.

Submitted by: Michael

If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it??

Submitted by: Steven

When nothing goes right, Go left.

Submitted by: marie

My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(

Submitted by: Carnivorus Sheep

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Submitted by: subhadeep samantaray

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

Submitted by: Arjay

Good girls ar bad girls that aren’t caught.

Submitted by: Briana

If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail

Submitted by: bobby

**when life gives you lemons.. Squirt it in your enemies eyes!!***

Submitted by: kasey

Rule #1 I’m always right
Rule #2 If i’m wrong please look at rule #1

Submitted by: Emma

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Submitted by: Usama

If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

Submitted by: AL-X

When life gives you lemons…throw them over your shoulder and look for an orange

Submitted by: the man

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

Submitted by: hahahaha

To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?

Submitted by: J-Dog

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