Short Funny Quotes - Page 2
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacfully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car…
Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?
I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it??
Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.
When life gives you lemons,
make grape juice,
then sit back,
and let the wold wonder how you did it.
If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )
Rule #1 I’m always right
Rule #2 If i’m wrong please look at rule #1
I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better :D
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Steven Wright
My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(
Adults are just kids with money.
Save paper, don’t do home work.
To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?