Short Funny Quotes - Page 21

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Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.

Funny Quote: We’re all mature until somebody brings out...

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Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

The first 40 years of your childhood are always the hardest.

Funny Quote: The first 40 years of your childhood...

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I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

Submitted by: Tikitiki

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra

Funny Quote: Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but...

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No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/fb.com

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

It has come to my attention, that air pollution is polluting the air!
George W. Bush

Funny Quote: It has come to my attention, that...

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When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!


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