Short Funny Quotes
To do is to be. – Socrates
To be is to do. – Sartre
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
– Kurt Vonnegut
If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?
I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”
If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.
If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!
Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?
There’s no vaccine against stupid.
It has come to my attention, that air pollution is polluting the air!
– George W. Bush
I saw a bug then I thought of you so I stepped on it.
Curiosity killed the cat, and saved the rat.
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra
Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!
My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.
When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.
Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.. I put the mirror down. ;)
If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++
You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)