Short Funny Quotes

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.

Submitted by: Chocolate88

If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

I know the secret of life. But I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

Submitted by: Andrew

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Submitted by: Mahum

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.

Submitted by: George

The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.

Submitted by: Blayze

How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..

Submitted by: joker321

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko

He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
She: Why?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi!
She: Hi.
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Funny Quote: He: You know.. When you weren’t here,...

Submitted by: Natalie
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