I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. – Mae West
Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid. – Ricky Gervais
I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”
You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice. You’re never too old to learn something stupid. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. – Dave Barry
I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. – Mark Twain
When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. – George Carlin
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx
All married women are not wives.
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. – Golda Meir
Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn’t, stupid enough to do it anyway.
If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC. – Drake
When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!
“Killer Attitude” Teacher : why are you late? – – – – – – Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
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