Short Funny Quotes - Page 22

16

I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.

Submitted by: happy murphy
15

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl
18

Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

Submitted by: Karen
14

School is like a prison. But they won’t let you out early for good behavior.

Submitted by: Jess
22

I’ll bet you one dollar you’ll read this.

Submitted by: Walter
48

I am not racist I just happen to call it like I see it.

Submitted by: malcolm john
37

I have been to Rome … They sure did a great job building it in a day.

Submitted by: malcolm john
19

I’m not lying, I just forgot the truth.

Submitted by: alyssamomo
33

When you stop making quotes about life giving you lemons, you will find true happiness in your life.

Submitted by: dude
22

A short man is one who finds himself with people who are taller than him.

Submitted by: RANDY DAVOH
8

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu
21

One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.

Submitted by: Denise F
10

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness
35

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock

Submitted by: the funnymaster123
30

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by: sparihar10@facebook.com
13

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: The ones you can count on, The ones you can’t count on, and the ones who can’t count at all!

Submitted by: Jailyn
30

Okay
It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka
16

I study high. I take the test high. Therefore, I should get high scores.

Submitted by: LRS
20

Regular naps prevent old age, especially when you take them while driving a car.
I believe that we should play our taxes with a smile…I tried but they wanted cash.

Submitted by: Nene
32

I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.

Submitted by: Trixie
32

Diplomacy: Telling someone your dog is cute until you find a rock.

Submitted by: gouri
32

When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.
– Barney Stinson

Submitted by: Kieglae
27

Define unfair advantage? Um…a crocodile in a smiling contest.

Submitted by: sketcher
10

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian
5

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Submitted by: James Corlett

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