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I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

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Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
– Mae West

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Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
– Ricky Gervais

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I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

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You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
– Dave Barry

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I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.

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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
– Mark Twain

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When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

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That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
– George Carlin

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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx

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All married women are not wives.

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Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
– Golda Meir

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Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn’t, stupid enough to do it anyway.

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If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

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Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

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If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC.
– Drake

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When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!

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“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

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