Short Funny Quotes

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
George Carlin

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
Groucho Marx

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

Without my driver’s license, you’ll just have to believe the age I tell you.

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Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

Submitted by: Tikitiki

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs)

My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.

Make up can make you beautiful on the outside. It wont work if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.

When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!

Funny Quote: When I have children I am going...

Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Answer:
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: sweetpea

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

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