Short Funny Quotes - Page 22

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

Submitted by: tisha ;)

If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

Drive it like you stole it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by: Reyna

Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie

Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services

Submitted by: Captain Munch

When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.

Submitted by: sweety

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret

Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry
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