Short Funny Quotes - Page 22
I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.
I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.
Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.
School is like a prison. But they won’t let you out early for good behavior.
I’ll bet you one dollar you’ll read this.
I am not racist I just happen to call it like I see it.
I have been to Rome … They sure did a great job building it in a day.
I’m not lying, I just forgot the truth.
When you stop making quotes about life giving you lemons, you will find true happiness in your life.
A short man is one who finds himself with people who are taller than him.
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)
One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.
If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock
DAD- iPay.. …!
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: The ones you can count on, The ones you can’t count on, and the ones who can’t count at all!
It’s been more than ten years now
I let the dogs out
I study high. I take the test high. Therefore, I should get high scores.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially when you take them while driving a car.
I believe that we should play our taxes with a smile…I tried but they wanted cash.
I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.
Diplomacy: Telling someone your dog is cute until you find a rock.
When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.
– Barney Stinson
Define unfair advantage? Um…a crocodile in a smiling contest.
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.