Short Funny Quotes - Page 22

30

I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.

Submitted by: Trixie
31

Diplomacy: Telling someone your dog is cute until you find a rock.

Submitted by: gouri
31

When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.
- Barney Stinson

Submitted by: Kieglae
26

Define unfair advantage? Um…a crocodile in a smiling contest.

Submitted by: sketcher
9

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian
5

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Submitted by: James Corlett
19

A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera
61

When life gives you a book…Hit life in the face and say “But I wanted lemons”.

Submitted by: sick of lemons
21

I’m not fat your just too skinny.

Submitted by: Belicia
19

80% of all people can’t do simple mathematics. Okay, but what about the 40% who can.

Submitted by: Hoopero
18

I’m not lazy… I’m just too good in energy conservation.

Submitted by: Obee
17

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!

Submitted by: Maha
11

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52
6

A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.

Submitted by: Tj
21

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER
44

If life gives you oranges… You must be doing something wrong.

Submitted by: Ben
28

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz
46

Some people tend to leave footsteps in your life, while I tend to put footsteps on their faces.:D

Submitted by: ralph alphaeus
36

If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.

Submitted by: Megan
19

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri
34

Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.

Submitted by: Nana Quajo
27

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Submitted by: D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R123
22

I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.

Submitted by: Bella Jane
24

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy
18

No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)

Submitted by: Suvidha

Copyright © 2006-2014 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!