Short Funny Quotes - Page 22
I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.
Diplomacy: Telling someone your dog is cute until you find a rock.
When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.
- Barney Stinson
Define unfair advantage? Um…a crocodile in a smiling contest.
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.
When life gives you a book…Hit life in the face and say “But I wanted lemons”.
I’m not fat your just too skinny.
80% of all people can’t do simple mathematics. Okay, but what about the 40% who can.
I’m not lazy… I’m just too good in energy conservation.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!
Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.
A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
If life gives you oranges… You must be doing something wrong.
To be honest…I’m a liar!:P
Some people tend to leave footsteps in your life, while I tend to put footsteps on their faces.:D
If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.
“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”
Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.
I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.
I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)