Short Funny Quotes - Page 22

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Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Drive it like you stole it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by: Reyna

If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

Funny Quote: If the stuff that comes out of...

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Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie

Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services

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Submitted by: Captain Munch

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Funny Quote: Sipho : Dr I have a problem...

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Submitted by: Victor

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret

Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return?
Student : Nothing!
Teacher : You don’t know Maths.
Student : You don’t know my friend.

Funny Quote: Teacher : If your friend wants to...

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Submitted by: sweety

When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Funny Quote: When ever I get a headache I...

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Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry
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