Short Funny Quotes - Page 23

19

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri
35

Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.

Submitted by: Nana Quajo
28

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Submitted by: D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R123
23

I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.

Submitted by: Bella Jane
25

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy
19

No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)

Submitted by: Suvidha
12

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria
14

Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.

Submitted by: Mubarak Ali
27

When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

Submitted by: Hallie (11 yers old)
14

If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.

Submitted by: toshi kool
33

I ain’t got no bad grammar.

Submitted by: Bloodshot
19

My idea of multi- tasking is using a knife and fork at the same time.

Submitted by: chauncey
44

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Submitted by: SteelrGrl
35

Daylight savings time is like cutting 24″ off the top of your blanket and sewing it to the bottom to keep your feet warm!

Submitted by: C.D. Rinck Sr.
29

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll
30

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish
23

I live in my own world, but it’s cool, everyone knows me here!

Submitted by: Hey You
21

To find out a girl’s fault, praise her to her girl friends.

Submitted by: Sezza
42

People tell me to get a life, I say “HEY! I’m a gamer! I have tons of lives hahaha”.

Submitted by: DAR 2da CIE
4

There is only one machine in the casino that will give you money. ATM.

Submitted by: Rudy Nin
20

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.

Submitted by: Chocolate88
33

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie
32

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

Submitted by: Kirk
71

Behind every successful man is the absence of an annoying woman.

Submitted by: Shet Geym
19

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

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