Short Funny Quotes

I was born intelligent…..but studies ruined me……

Submitted by: sakshi

No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)

Submitted by: Suvidha

Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…

Submitted by: Sosthy

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.

Submitted by: Pseudonym

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

Submitted by: Ujjwal

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne

If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D

Submitted by: Robert Gonzalez

I will procrastinate later.

Submitted by: Chiz
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Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.

Submitted by: Megha

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

Monday again?
Seriously though, I cannot keep doing this every week!

In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.

Submitted by: katie-renee

My Reality Check bounced.

Submitted by: milly

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