“Killer Attitude” Teacher : why are you late? – – – – – – Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
I put the pro in procrastination.
Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
Homework kills trees. So don’t do homework.
I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Boy: Hi Girl: Hi Boy: I like someone.. Girl: Who?!! Boy: She looks just like you… Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too… Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister
Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!
A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.
If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!
Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!
Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally red??? I replied: “No I soak my hair every night in the blood of my enemies”.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!” “What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”
The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.
Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.
Dear Algebra, Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back! Love, Me. P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.
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