Short Funny Quotes - Page 23


Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

Submitted by: Karen

School is like a prison. But they won’t let you out early for good behavior.

Submitted by: Jess

I’ll bet you one dollar you’ll read this.

Submitted by: Walter

I am not racist I just happen to call it like I see it.

Submitted by: malcolm john

I have been to Rome … They sure did a great job building it in a day.

Submitted by: malcolm john

I’m not lying, I just forgot the truth.

Submitted by: alyssamomo

When you stop making quotes about life giving you lemons, you will find true happiness in your life.

Submitted by: dude

A short man is one who finds himself with people who are taller than him.

Submitted by: RANDY DAVOH

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu

One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.

Submitted by: Denise F

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock

Submitted by: the funnymaster123

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by:

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: The ones you can count on, The ones you can’t count on, and the ones who can’t count at all!

Submitted by: Jailyn

It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka

I study high. I take the test high. Therefore, I should get high scores.

Submitted by: LRS

Regular naps prevent old age, especially when you take them while driving a car.
I believe that we should play our taxes with a smile…I tried but they wanted cash.

Submitted by: Nene

I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.

Submitted by: Trixie

Diplomacy: Telling someone your dog is cute until you find a rock.

Submitted by: gouri

When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.
– Barney Stinson

Submitted by: Kieglae

Define unfair advantage? Um…a crocodile in a smiling contest.

Submitted by: sketcher

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Submitted by: James Corlett

A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera

When life gives you a book…Hit life in the face and say “But I wanted lemons”.

Submitted by: sick of lemons

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