Short Funny Quotes - Page 23

27

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..
20

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby
25

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather
19

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite
37

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos
33

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)
25

I still have a beautiful figure… Under couple of layers of cholesterol ;)

Submitted by: hard2handle
21

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon
25

The correct phobic term for the fear of long words? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (!)

Submitted by: Solberto_Coronavich
40

If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D

Submitted by: Robert Gonzalez
32

Common sense is the sense rarely found in common people.
– Pintu

Submitted by: pintu singh
28

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa
29

Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.

Submitted by: Megha
21

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara
93

When life gives you snomel, you have dyslexia!

Submitted by: blondee
19

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?
10

I’m in no shape to exercise.

Submitted by: jeeja h
24

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy
22

Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry
21

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza
50

Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?

Submitted by: kelvin afotey
25

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky
26

You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.

Submitted by: katee
54

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

Funny Quote: Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve...

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Submitted by: dear maths!!!
20

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303
24

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan
45

I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!

Submitted by: Steve
31

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?

Submitted by: Rayray
38

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420
91

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke

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