Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes - Page 23

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

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I put the pro in procrastination.

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Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

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Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

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Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

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I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

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Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.

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Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

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Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

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A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

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If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

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Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

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Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally red???
I replied: “No I soak my hair every night in the blood of my enemies”.

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
– George Carlin

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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

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“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

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The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

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Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

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Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

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