Short Funny Quotes

Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry

I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.

Submitted by: Karen V :D

When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.

Submitted by: shubh

When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Funny Quote: When someone says everything happens for a...

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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: May the forces of evil become confused...

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Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER

Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…

Submitted by: larry

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

Funny Quote: When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic...

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Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.

Submitted by: Sherry Qadeer

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Milkshake

Submitted by: ameago

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