Short Funny Quotes - Page 23
“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”
Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.
I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.
I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)
A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.
Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.
When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)
If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.
I ain’t got no bad grammar.
My idea of multi- tasking is using a knife and fork at the same time.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Daylight savings time is like cutting 24″ off the top of your blanket and sewing it to the bottom to keep your feet warm!
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.
I live in my own world, but it’s cool, everyone knows me here!
To find out a girl’s fault, praise her to her girl friends.
People tell me to get a life, I say “HEY! I’m a gamer! I have tons of lives hahaha”.
There is only one machine in the casino that will give you money. ATM.
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
Behind every successful man is the absence of an annoying woman.
All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.