Short Funny Quotes
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and you’ll end up in the hospital.
In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.
When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!
I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)
Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.
Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
– Groucho Marx
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.
Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!