Short Funny Quotes
If you must lie, be brief.
Some people are wise, some are otherwise.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.
Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.
If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
I don’t drive FAST, I FLY SloWLy.
After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.