Short Funny Quotes

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
Backwards?
I’m just that talented.:)

Submitted by: VolleyballStar

I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.

Submitted by: happy murphy

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West

Things on my “To do” list:

Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.

Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.

When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.

Submitted by: thesexyone
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Four out of three people have a hard time dealing with fractions.

Submitted by: Jennette Stevens

Why do people try park as close as the can to the entrance when they go to the gym to work out?

Submitted by: TheAwesome1

$19.99 Because $20.00 is an outrageous amount of money.

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep. :)

Why are girls?

When I was a kid, I used to sing, “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P”

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

I’ve said it a million times, I never exaggerate.

Submitted by: Brian

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan

They say,”Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” well, I think the guns help! Because if you stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill too many people.

Submitted by: Kit kat

I’m confused… Wait, maybe I’m not…

Submitted by: Ale Angel

I’m not laughing because you’re my brother, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.

Submitted by: sam

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