Short Funny Quotes - Page 24


I’m not fat your just too skinny.

Submitted by: Belicia

80% of all people can’t do simple mathematics. Okay, but what about the 40% who can.

Submitted by: Hoopero

I’m not lazy… I’m just too good in energy conservation.

Submitted by: Obee

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!

Submitted by: Maha

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.

Submitted by: Tj

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER

If life gives you oranges… You must be doing something wrong.

Submitted by: Ben

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Some people tend to leave footsteps in your life, while I tend to put footsteps on their faces.:D

Submitted by: ralph alphaeus

If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.

Submitted by: Megan

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.

Submitted by: Nana Quajo

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Submitted by: D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R123

I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.

Submitted by: Bella Jane

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy

No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)

Submitted by: Suvidha

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.

Submitted by: Mubarak Ali

When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

Submitted by: Hallie (11 yers old)

If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.

Submitted by: toshi kool

I ain’t got no bad grammar.

Submitted by: Bloodshot

My idea of multi- tasking is using a knife and fork at the same time.

Submitted by: chauncey

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Submitted by: SteelrGrl

Daylight savings time is like cutting 24″ off the top of your blanket and sewing it to the bottom to keep your feet warm!

Submitted by: C.D. Rinck Sr.

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