Short Funny Quotes
Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.
Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler
Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
I’m just that talented.:)
I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
– Mae West
Things on my “To do” list:
Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.
Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.
When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
– George Carlin
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.
Four out of three people have a hard time dealing with fractions.
Why do people try park as close as the can to the entrance when they go to the gym to work out?
$19.99 Because $20.00 is an outrageous amount of money.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep. :)
Why are girls?
When I was a kid, I used to sing, “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P”
We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.
I’ve said it a million times, I never exaggerate.
Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?
They say,”Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” well, I think the guns help! Because if you stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill too many people.
I’m confused… Wait, maybe I’m not…
I’m not laughing because you’re my brother, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.