Short Funny Quotes - Page 24

138

When I get depressed I cut myself ….. A piece of cheesecake.

Submitted by: Linda
40

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.

Submitted by: thesexyone
77

When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.

Submitted by: Melissa
41

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Funny Quote: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along...

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Submitted by: Flicka
30

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally
40

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret
75

When life gives you lemons, throw em back and tell em they can make their own lemonade.

Submitted by: Banana nana fofanna
81

When life gives you lemons..cut them into slices and put them in your corona.

Submitted by: MAC
30

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne
95

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey
50

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B
83

When life gives you apples… Say, what the hell are you thinkin’? You got the wrong fruit!

Submitted by: Blueberry Muffin
26

I am in shape…Round is a shape.

Submitted by: Kezzer
32

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri
54

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN
35

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.

Submitted by: exdevlin92
96

Can anyone tell me what to do when life offers you an orange…?

Submitted by: shivduttdeshmukh
44

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.

Submitted by: Hmmm
36

I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.

Submitted by: Allison
36

Business is stealing other people’s money legally.
Funny Quote: Business is stealing other people’s money legally.

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Submitted by: salehe hemedi
143

If you can’t change a girl, change the girl.

Submitted by: Sunny
46

I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper
29

Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?
Boy: Easy, stop imagining.

Submitted by: Cupcake
58

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg
103

When life gives you lemon
.
.
.
.
accept it silently
cos you might be having Vitamin C deficiency

Submitted by: Ali Asger
119

Patience is a waste of time.
Classical music just confuses all the other voices in my head.
My password is ********* How many asterisks do you use for your password?
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
I get bored in church. Why would I want to go to heaven?
I bet Einstein would have liked color.
I snore on purpose.
When I was a kid, I could buy a dollar for ten cents.

Submitted by: bertman
43

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)
40

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.. I put the mirror down. ;)

Submitted by: liliaaa
95

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Submitted by: Tina
30

Smile and the world smiles with you.
Laugh and they’ll think your on drugs.

Submitted by: Holli

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