Short Funny Quotes - Page 24

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

Submitted by: Katie

If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!

Submitted by: katie

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Milkshake

Submitted by: ameago

I don’t drive FAST, I FLY SloWLy.

Submitted by: arun

Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.

Funny Quote: After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just...

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