Short Funny Quotes - Page 24
When I get depressed I cut myself ….. A piece of cheesecake.
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.
When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t
Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.
When life gives you lemons, throw em back and tell em they can make their own lemonade.
When life gives you lemons..cut them into slices and put them in your corona.
When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.
Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)
Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.
When life gives you apples… Say, what the hell are you thinkin’? You got the wrong fruit!
I am in shape…Round is a shape.
This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D
When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
Can anyone tell me what to do when life offers you an orange…?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.
I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.
Business is stealing other people’s money legally.
If you can’t change a girl, change the girl.
I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.
Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?
Boy: Easy, stop imagining.
Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.
When life gives you lemon
accept it silently
cos you might be having Vitamin C deficiency
Patience is a waste of time.
Classical music just confuses all the other voices in my head.
My password is ********* How many asterisks do you use for your password?
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
I get bored in church. Why would I want to go to heaven?
I bet Einstein would have liked color.
I snore on purpose.
When I was a kid, I could buy a dollar for ten cents.
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.. I put the mirror down. ;)
Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Smile and the world smiles with you.
Laugh and they’ll think your on drugs.