Short Funny Quotes

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and you’ll end up in the hospital.

Submitted by: JoJo

In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.

Submitted by: katie-renee

When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!

Submitted by: Kim

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)

Submitted by: Augusta :)

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy

Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Submitted by: Holorunranty

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.

Submitted by: Loshani Sigwadi

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke

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