Short Funny Quotes

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria

Some people are wise, some are otherwise.

Submitted by: Azrael

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

Funny Quote: A friend of mine said onions are...

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Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
Then I pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

Submitted by: Katie

If you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!

Submitted by: katie

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

I don’t drive FAST, I FLY SloWLy.

Submitted by: arun

After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.

Funny Quote: After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just...

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