Short Funny Quotes

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.

Submitted by: Allison

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)

Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.

Submitted by: Freakychick

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip

Okay
It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka

Copyright © 2006-2016 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote