Short Funny Quotes - Page 25
After loosing the election I sleep like a young baby .. Sleep 2 hours wake up and cry..sleep another 2 hours wake up and cry!
Are you one of those people who ‘pull’ the door when it says ‘push’?
When life gives you lemons you throw them back at life and tell life to get a life…
Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Steven Wright
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?
If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++
People say that I’m indecisive, but…I don’t know if I am, well maybe.
I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!
Genius is a person who can do a work in one day…but a fool does it in one year…. Just as we complete our syllabus in one day & our teachers do it in one year… WE ROCK.
Don’t worry there is always a dumber person than you
What if life gave you lemons, and you were allergic?
When will life give you something delicious?
Could life give me Chocolate instead?
I’ve said it a million times, I never exaggerate.
If life hands you a lemon, say: “No, thanks. My mom taught me not to accept things from strangers”!
Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!
When life gives you lemons throw it back and demand lemonade.
Don’t you hate it when you get on your own nerves??!!!!
I will procrastinate later.
I’m giving you a definite maybe.
- Sam Goldwyn
I know only two tunes. One of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.
- Ulysses S. Grant
Yes, females do pursue me (if you count mosquitoes).
It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?
Traffic is moving at a standstill.
- Traffic Reporter
This project is so important that we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.
Winter related injuries occur more often in winter.
Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”