Short Funny Quotes

My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.

Submitted by: Loshani Sigwadi

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.

Submitted by: katie-renee

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.

Submitted by: Allison

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.

Submitted by: Freakychick

It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness

Thanks to all those who ask the awkward questions on yahoo answers so that we don’t have to.

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

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