Short Funny Quotes

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…

Submitted by: AmberLee

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip

I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.

Submitted by: Allison

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote