Short Funny Quotes

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Helen Rowland

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa.
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I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…

Submitted by: AmberLee

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/fb.com
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How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
– David O. McKay

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

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