Short Funny Quotes - Page 25

17

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and you’ll end up in the hospital.

Submitted by: JoJo
2

A diplomat: One who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Submitted by: Grief
33

Four out of three people have a hard time dealing with fractions.

Submitted by: Jennette Stevens
62

I’m so awesome that whenever I ask whether I’m awesome people say no but I know it’s just pure jealousy.

Submitted by: me
42

I don’t want to look at the bright side. It’ll hurt my eye.
– Olivia

Submitted by: Olivia
44

I save trees everyday by not doing my homework.

Submitted by: yo mama
37

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny
78

If life throws lemon at you, think something stupid and post it here.
Boy2God : Why my girlfriend loves a rose which dies in a day and doesn’t love me when I die for her everyday?
God2boy : Nice one dude, post it on Facebook.

Submitted by: chkyrmnd
31

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe
19

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.

Submitted by: David Hudson
21

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

Submitted by: tisha ;)
21

Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services

Submitted by: Captain Munch
20

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot
36

After loosing the election I sleep like a young baby .. Sleep 2 hours wake up and cry..sleep another 2 hours wake up and cry!

Submitted by: Mwanzia
60

Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Submitted by: levi
63

Are you one of those people who ‘pull’ the door when it says ‘push’?

Submitted by: uygoi
62

When life gives you lemons you throw them back at life and tell life to get a life…

Submitted by: Lush-Soul
24

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Sister: Really?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

Submitted by: lisa
29

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip
44

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Funny Quote: Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Embed Code
Submitted by: phillip
20

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Submitted by: Phillip
24

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor
43

If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

Submitted by: Hassan Khan Sekmani
22

People say that I’m indecisive, but…I don’t know if I am, well maybe.

Submitted by: adsmitty
22

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

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