Short Funny Quotes
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso
Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
– Ambrose Bierce
I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”
I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.
I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
– Steven Wright
I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.
Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!