Short Funny Quotes - Page 25

36

After loosing the election I sleep like a young baby .. Sleep 2 hours wake up and cry..sleep another 2 hours wake up and cry!

Submitted by: Mwanzia
60

Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Submitted by: levi
63

Are you one of those people who ‘pull’ the door when it says ‘push’?

Submitted by: uygoi
62

When life gives you lemons you throw them back at life and tell life to get a life…

Submitted by: Lush-Soul
24

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Sister: Really?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

Submitted by: lisa
28

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip
40

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Funny Quote: Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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Submitted by: phillip
20

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Submitted by: Phillip
24

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor
43

If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

Submitted by: Hassan Khan Sekmani
22

People say that I’m indecisive, but…I don’t know if I am, well maybe.

Submitted by: adsmitty
22

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot
3

Genius is a person who can do a work in one day…but a fool does it in one year…. Just as we complete our syllabus in one day & our teachers do it in one year… WE ROCK.

Submitted by: manisha chhetri
129

Don’t worry there is always a dumber person than you

Submitted by: :)
70

What if life gave you lemons, and you were allergic?
When will life give you something delicious?
Could life give me Chocolate instead?

Submitted by: STEVE:)
100

I’ve said it a million times, I never exaggerate.

Submitted by: Brian
130

If life hands you a lemon, say: “No, thanks. My mom taught me not to accept things from strangers”!

Submitted by: Bethel Nwogu
78

Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis
60

When life gives you lemons throw it back and demand lemonade.

Submitted by: XxClueless_luverxX
37

Don’t you hate it when you get on your own nerves??!!!!

Submitted by: Paige
17

I will procrastinate later.

Submitted by: Chiz
12

I’m giving you a definite maybe.
- Sam Goldwyn

I know only two tunes. One of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.
- Ulysses S. Grant

Yes, females do pursue me (if you count mosquitoes).

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Celibacy is not hereditary.

Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?

Traffic is moving at a standstill.
- Traffic Reporter

This project is so important that we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.
Winter related injuries occur more often in winter.
- Newswoman

Submitted by: Bob
24

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...
13

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!

Submitted by: Lisha
24

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)

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