Short Funny Quotes

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…

Submitted by: AmberLee

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

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I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/fb.com

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