Short Funny Quotes

“Behind Every Gorgeous Female, Lies A Lot Of Envious Chicks”

Submitted by: Babyboy Official

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip

Okay
It’s been more than ten years now
I confess
I let the dogs out

Submitted by: chuka

I feel so lost without you… Mostly because you have my compass.

Submitted by: Allison

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Thanks to all those who ask the awkward questions on yahoo answers so that we don’t have to.

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B
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Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.

Submitted by: Freakychick

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by: sparihar10@facebook.com

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

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