Short Funny Quotes

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

Funny Quote: I retired early for health reasons –...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

Funny Quote: We live in the era of smart...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.

Funny Quote: When his life was ruined, his family...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I

When Life Gives You Lemons… Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.
I Totally Just Made That Up 8 ]

Submitted by: Bridget

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.

Submitted by: Ale Angel

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

Copyright © 2006-2016 - All rights reserved. Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote