Short Funny Quotes
If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.
Thanks to all those who ask the awkward questions on yahoo answers so that we don’t have to.
I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.
Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
– Albert Camus
Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.
I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.
Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.
Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.
Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.
DAD- iPay.. …!
Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.
All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.
It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.