Short Funny Quotes

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by:

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

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