Short Funny Quotes

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Phillip

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by:

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

Copyright © 2006-2016 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote