Short Funny Quotes

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by: sparihar10@facebook.com

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor

Copyright © 2006-2016 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote