Short Funny Quotes - Page 26

19

The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Submitted by: Rachael :)
134

Why is the quote “When Life gives You Lemons” so popular; when has life ever given someone a lemon.
I’m not claustrophobic, I just prefer to live outside the box.
What most people consider style now who have had them outcasted in school 10 years ago…

Submitted by: Jermaine Blackburn
26

I hope I didn’t brain my damage.

Submitted by: noddy
27

Who could be so cruel too put a ‘S’ in lisp.

Submitted by: James
19

Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

Submitted by: Captain Kirk
38

When life gives you lemon you sell them on eBay.
My imaginary friend thinks I’m mentally insane.
Drugs cause amnesia and … I can’t remember the other things.

Submitted by: noooobooody
22

Everything is legal. Until you get caught.

Submitted by: maryyyy.
47

All work and no play makes Jack a manager.

Submitted by: Chiza
39

Everyone wants to top in exams but no one wants to study.

Submitted by: adarshkumar
106

Chuck Norris doesn’t watch TV, TV watches Chuck Norris.

Submitted by: DMR
42

What software would you recommend to give my presentation with so much flash and sizzle that nobody notices that I have nothing to say?

Submitted by: fred
29

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura
30

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

Submitted by: Ujjwal
299

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

Funny Quote: This dog, is dog, a dog, good...

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Submitted by: amal
47

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
Milkshake

Submitted by: ameago
58

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph
24

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Submitted by: Mahum
73

When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy the fruit you like.

Submitted by: Wasif Manjoor
34

They say, it’s darkest before dawn…so if you’re gonna steal your neighbors newspaper, that’s the right time to do it.

Submitted by: Raghav
48

If you see one goose it is called a goose. If you see more then one its called geese. How come when you see more then one moose it isn’t calles meese?

Submitted by: ME
37

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw
43

We all know what the speed of light is…what’s the speed of dark?!

Submitted by: Ryerye
27

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..
20

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby
25

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

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