Short Funny Quotes

The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.

Submitted by: joe

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by:

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

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