Short Funny Quotes - Page 26

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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.

Funny Quote: When his life was ruined, his family...

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I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.

Submitted by: Ale Angel

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

When Life Gives You Lemons… Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.
I Totally Just Made That Up 8 ]

Submitted by: Bridget

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

Funny Quote: I retired early for health reasons –...

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