Short Funny Quotes - Page 26
If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!
Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.
Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!
You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.
I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!
I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers
Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.
I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.