Short Funny Quotes - Page 26

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If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.

Submitted by: Ale Angel

I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!

Submitted by: Beth

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

Funny Quote: I retired early for health reasons –...

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