Short Funny Quotes
I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”
I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman
I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.
My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.
When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.
No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!
Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?