Short Funny Quotes

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Submitted by: phillip

I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.

Submitted by: katie

My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

Submitted by: day

When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/fb.com

I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper

Curiosity killed the cat, and saved the rat.

Submitted by: sum

Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!

Submitted by: mallikarjun

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin

If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

Submitted by: Hassan Khan Sekmani

Interesting confusions:
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Submitted by: red sunny

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