Short Funny Quotes

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.

Funny Quote: Seeing your ex with someone uglier than...

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I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

Funny Quote: When someone rings the doorbell, why do...

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Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Submitted by: DUANE. G. FINCH. SR.

There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Funny Quote: Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to...

Submitted by: Karen
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This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara

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