Short Funny Quotes
Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.
Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!
Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.
This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?