Short Funny Quotes - Page 27

58

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph
24

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Submitted by: Mahum
73

When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy the fruit you like.

Submitted by: Wasif Manjoor
34

They say, it’s darkest before dawn…so if you’re gonna steal your neighbors newspaper, that’s the right time to do it.

Submitted by: Raghav
48

If you see one goose it is called a goose. If you see more then one its called geese. How come when you see more then one moose it isn’t calles meese?

Submitted by: ME
38

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw
44

We all know what the speed of light is…what’s the speed of dark?!

Submitted by: Ryerye
27

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..
20

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby
25

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather
19

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite
37

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos
33

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)
25

I still have a beautiful figure… Under couple of layers of cholesterol ;)

Submitted by: hard2handle
21

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon
25

The correct phobic term for the fear of long words? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (!)

Submitted by: Solberto_Coronavich
40

If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D

Submitted by: Robert Gonzalez
32

Common sense is the sense rarely found in common people.
- Pintu

Submitted by: pintu singh
28

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa
29

Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.

Submitted by: Megha
21

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara
93

When life gives you snomel, you have dyslexia!

Submitted by: blondee
19

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?
10

I’m in no shape to exercise.

Submitted by: jeeja h
24

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

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