Short Funny Quotes

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

To do is to be. – Socrates
To be is to do. – Sartre
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
– Kurt Vonnegut

Submitted by: Ashley Rushbrook

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.

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If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

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I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor

If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.

Submitted by: katie

If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr

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