Short Funny Quotes

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/

I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.

Submitted by: katie

I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.

Submitted by: pied piper

My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

Submitted by: day

When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.

Curiosity killed the cat, and saved the rat.

Submitted by: sum

Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!

Submitted by: mallikarjun

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin

If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

Submitted by: Hassan Khan Sekmani

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