Short Funny Quotes

I have great faith in fools; self- confidence my friends call it.
– Edgar Allen Poe

I’ll bet you one dollar you’ll read this.

Submitted by: Walter

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!

Submitted by: Maha

Think if man evolved from monkeys then why do we still have monkeys?

Submitted by: Himanshew kagz

They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.

Submitted by: Ben

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill

The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live.

Submitted by: Mondli Mazibuko

I still have a beautiful figure… Under couple of layers of cholesterol ;)

Submitted by: hard2handle

Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.

Submitted by: Mubarak Ali

Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

Submitted by: Karen

Everyone has a photographic memory… Some just don’t have film.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

A good man is hard to find. A good midget is ever harder to find…especially in a large crowd.
– M.J. McGuire

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Submitted by: Jet set

I didn’t fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

Google: I have everything. !!
Facebook: I know everyone. !
Tweeter: I know what you guys think!!
Internet: Gosh!!!w/out me. !!you guys are nothing!!!

Submitted by: hearty diamond

I live in my own world, but it’s cool, everyone knows me here!

Submitted by: Hey You

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