Short Funny Quotes

You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: Braylin

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

There’s no vaccine against stupid.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal

To do is to be. – Socrates
To be is to do. – Sartre
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
– Kurt Vonnegut

Submitted by: Ashley Rushbrook

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr

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