Short Funny Quotes
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
There’s no vaccine against stupid.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.
To do is to be. – Socrates
To be is to do. – Sartre
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
– Kurt Vonnegut
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)
How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
– George Carlin
Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!
“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”
I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.
Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.
If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!