Short Funny Quotes
I have great faith in fools; self- confidence my friends call it.
– Edgar Allen Poe
I’ll bet you one dollar you’ll read this.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!
Think if man evolved from monkeys then why do we still have monkeys?
They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
– Winston Churchill
The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live.
I still have a beautiful figure… Under couple of layers of cholesterol ;)
Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.
Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.
Everyone has a photographic memory… Some just don’t have film.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
A good man is hard to find. A good midget is ever harder to find…especially in a large crowd.
– M.J. McGuire
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
I didn’t fall, the floor just needed a hug.
Google: I have everything. !!
Facebook: I know everyone. !
Tweeter: I know what you guys think!!
Internet: Gosh!!!w/out me. !!you guys are nothing!!!
I live in my own world, but it’s cool, everyone knows me here!