Short Funny Quotes

Interesting confusions:
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Submitted by: red sunny

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: Braylin

There’s no vaccine against stupid.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal

To do is to be. – Socrates
To be is to do. – Sartre
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
– Kurt Vonnegut

Submitted by: Ashley Rushbrook

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
George Carlin

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr

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