Short Funny Quotes - Page 28


They say, it’s darkest before dawn…so if you’re gonna steal your neighbors newspaper, that’s the right time to do it.

Submitted by: Raghav

If you see one goose it is called a goose. If you see more then one its called geese. How come when you see more then one moose it isn’t calles meese?

Submitted by: ME

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

We all know what the speed of light is…what’s the speed of dark?!

Submitted by: Ryerye

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos

Stop asking for oranges! Some of us haven’t even received our lemons yet!!!

Submitted by: Shnooki :)

I still have a beautiful figure… Under couple of layers of cholesterol ;)

Submitted by: hard2handle

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon

The correct phobic term for the fear of long words? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (!)

Submitted by: Solberto_Coronavich

If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D

Submitted by: Robert Gonzalez

Common sense is the sense rarely found in common people.
– Pintu

Submitted by: pintu singh

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa

Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.

Submitted by: Megha

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara

When life gives you snomel, you have dyslexia!

Submitted by: blondee

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?

I’m in no shape to exercise.

Submitted by: jeeja h

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza

Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?

Submitted by: kelvin afotey

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