Short Funny Quotes

I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

It has come to my attention, that air pollution is polluting the air!
George W. Bush

Interesting confusions:
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Submitted by: red sunny

I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor
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If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.

Submitted by: katie

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra

Make up can make you beautiful on the outside. It wont work if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.. I put the mirror down. ;)

Submitted by: liliaaa

Curiosity killed the cat, and saved the rat.

Submitted by: sum

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin
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How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
George Carlin

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!

Submitted by: mallikarjun

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