Short Funny Quotes - Page 28

19

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?
11

I’m in no shape to exercise.

Submitted by: jeeja h
24

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy
22

Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Submitted by: passionberry
21

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza
50

Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?

Submitted by: kelvin afotey
26

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky
26

You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.

Submitted by: katee
54

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

Funny Quote: Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve...

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Submitted by: dear maths!!!
20

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303
24

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan
45

I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!

Submitted by: Steve
31

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?

Submitted by: Rayray
38

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420
91

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke
138

When I get depressed I cut myself ….. A piece of cheesecake.

Submitted by: Linda
40

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.

Submitted by: thesexyone
77

When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.

Submitted by: Melissa
42

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Funny Quote: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along...

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Submitted by: Flicka
30

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally
40

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret
76

When life gives you lemons, throw em back and tell em they can make their own lemonade.

Submitted by: Banana nana fofanna
82

When life gives you lemons..cut them into slices and put them in your corona.

Submitted by: MAC
30

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne
96

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey

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