Short Funny Quotes

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
George Carlin

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
Groucho Marx

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal
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Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

Without my driver’s license, you’ll just have to believe the age I tell you.

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Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

Submitted by: Tikitiki

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

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