Short Funny Quotes

Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.:)

Submitted by: Sarah O.

I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.
– Joe E. Lewis

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Follow your dreams…except for that one where you’re naked at work.

Submitted by: red27y

Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn’t, stupid enough to do it anyway.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Submitted by: conapetaz

If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.

I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.

Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers

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Today is the National animal’s day, so please take a minute and remember your ex!

Submitted by: deejay spoko

To be old and wise you first must be young and stupid, that’s my excuse.

Submitted by: Honey

Wear Short Sleeves! Support the right to bear arms!

Submitted by: Jazzy

People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: mooii

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life!

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
Bill Watterson

During surgery: “God performs miracles. I don’t.”

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

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