Short Funny Quotes

When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL

If facebook was a subject I’d get A+++

Submitted by: Hassan Khan Sekmani

You don’t need a parachute to sky dive, you need a parachute to sky dive twice.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: Braylin

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu
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Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

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Without my driver’s license, you’ll just have to believe the age I tell you.

When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!

Funny Quote: When I have children I am going...

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

Submitted by: Tikitiki

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