Short Funny Quotes

It has come to my attention, that air pollution is polluting the air!
George W. Bush

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?
George Carlin

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hi
Boy: I like someone..
Girl: Who?!!
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister

Submitted by: Tikitiki

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish

Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!

Funny Quote: When I have children I am going...

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera

Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Answer:
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: sweetpea

I saw a bug then I thought of you so I stepped on it.

Submitted by: :)Skyler(:

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl

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