Short Funny Quotes - Page 29

21

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza
50

Why call it a toothbrush, is it used for brushing a single tooth?

Submitted by: kelvin afotey
30

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky
26

You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.

Submitted by: katee
57

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

Funny Quote: Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve...

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Submitted by: dear maths!!!
21

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303
24

It is not easy going through life and being perfect. I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.

Submitted by: Patrick Sullivan
45

I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous!

Submitted by: Steve
31

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?

Submitted by: Rayray
39

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420
91

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke
138

When I get depressed I cut myself ….. A piece of cheesecake.

Submitted by: Linda
40

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.

Submitted by: thesexyone
77

When life gives you lemons it means you’ve obviously knock over the fruit barrel.

Submitted by: Melissa
44

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Funny Quote: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along...

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Submitted by: Flicka
30

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally
40

Maybe life should stop giving lemons… It just gives people ideas on what to do with it.

Submitted by: kinchotaret
77

When life gives you lemons, throw em back and tell em they can make their own lemonade.

Submitted by: Banana nana fofanna
82

When life gives you lemons..cut them into slices and put them in your corona.

Submitted by: MAC
30

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne
97

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey
50

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B
84

When life gives you apples… Say, what the hell are you thinkin’? You got the wrong fruit!

Submitted by: Blueberry Muffin
26

I am in shape…Round is a shape.

Submitted by: Kezzer
32

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

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