Short Funny Quotes - Page 3
I love love love this quote!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
Dream as you will live forever, live as you would die tomorrow!
I used to be normal until I met those losers I call my BEST FRIENDS!!!!
It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?
Boy: Easy, stop imagining.
If all my friends decided to jump off a bridge….i wuldnt…i wuld be at the bottom waiting to catch them.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- W.C. Fields
My life is one of those
YOU HAD TO BE THERE
Life is Short – Talk Fast!
Laugh Until You Cry
Cry Until You Laugh
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years. …
Do not drink and drive
or you might spill the drink.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.