Short Funny Quotes
I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )
Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?
I love love love this quote!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
When life gives you lemons,
make grape juice,
then sit back,
and let the wold wonder how you did it.
Save water and shower together
If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it??
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
When nothing goes right, Go left.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.
Good girls ar bad girls that aren’t caught.
Rule #1 I’m always right
Rule #2 If i’m wrong please look at rule #1
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
**when life gives you lemons.. Squirt it in your enemies eyes!!***