Short Funny Quotes - Page 3

I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better :D

Submitted by: Dilip

I dream of a better tomorrow…
where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Submitted by: **THD Rulez**

Do not drink and drive
or you might spill the drink.

Submitted by: DirtySouth

All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.

Submitted by: dominic

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

Submitted by: Julio

Save paper, don’t do home work.

Submitted by: Allyson

Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.

Submitted by: I

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
It always gets laughs!

Submitted by: Callie W.

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

Submitted by: Jaime

I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )

Submitted by: ArmenianGrl
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