Short Funny Quotes - Page 30

31

Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil
96

He who laughs last… Well, laughs last… What were you expecting me to say!!!

Submitted by: Tony Santos
39

I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.

Submitted by: Karen V :D
38

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

Submitted by: Saadi
35

I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!

Submitted by: Beth
42

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Submitted by: conapetaz
38

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes
40

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto
86

A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.

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Submitted by: Lakiyah King
64

You: Does everything I say have to mean something?
Me: Apparently not…babble on

Submitted by: Dori
94

There is no I in fail… WAIT!…

Submitted by: Lol...
44

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore
58

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea
88

Never judge a book by its cover…read the cliff notes!

Submitted by: Muley
38

When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.

Submitted by: SUmmy
48

L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!

Submitted by: SUmmy
53

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok
281

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Submitted by: Publisher
46

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna
39

Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

Submitted by: ME!!!
75

Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!

Submitted by: mallikarjun
58

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky
43

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC
44

My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

Submitted by: day
52

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

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