Short Funny Quotes - Page 30
My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.
The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?
When nothing goes right go left!!
Do it today … It might be illegal tomorrow!
I run with scissors it makes me feel DANGEROUS!
My future is so bright ….. I need shades
If a turtle loses his shell is he NAKED or HOMELESS ??
The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.
Any one can watch a monkey dance, But can you dance like the monkey.
Guns don’t kill people… Dads with pretty daughters do.
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on you again.
How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..
The future just ain’t what it used to be.
Selfishness: Lack of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Some people are wise, some are otherwise.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to go make its own lemonade.
I scored high on my drug test.
Life hands you lemons…great now who the hell is gonna hand me a knife to cut them!!!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.
Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.
Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…
Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.
They say money talks…well I’m the ventriloquist.
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.
Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?
If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!