Short Funny Quotes

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs)

My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.

Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Answer:
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: sweetpea

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera

Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
Groucho Marx

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl

Weather forecast for tonight: dark

Submitted by: mackeeenzzie!

I told my mom that my house was her house and she yelled at me, “Get of my property”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

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