Short Funny Quotes

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?






Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs)

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri

Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Answer:
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: sweetpea
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A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera

Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish

I told my mom that my house was her house and she yelled at me, “Get of my property”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1
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Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!

Submitted by: mw is cool

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl

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