Short Funny Quotes
Teacher : why are you late?
Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.
Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.
When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.
I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
I always lie. Trust me.
Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.
Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
– Groucho Marx
Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.
To be honest…I’m a liar!:P