Short Funny Quotes
The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.
Teacher : why are you late?
Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.
Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!
Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.
Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t
A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
– Groucho Marx
When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.
I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I told my mom that my house was her house and she yelled at me, “Get of my property”.
Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?