Short Funny Quotes - Page 31


He who laughs last… Well, laughs last… What were you expecting me to say!!!

Submitted by: Tony Santos

I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.

Submitted by: Karen V :D

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

Submitted by: Saadi

I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!

Submitted by: Beth

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Submitted by: conapetaz

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.

Funny Quote: A “Lion” would never cheat on his...

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Submitted by: Lakiyah King

You: Does everything I say have to mean something?
Me: Apparently not…babble on

Submitted by: Dori

There is no I in fail… WAIT!…

Submitted by: Lol...

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore

Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

Submitted by: Lea

Never judge a book by its cover…read the cliff notes!

Submitted by: Muley

When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.

Submitted by: SUmmy

L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!

Submitted by: SUmmy

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Submitted by: Publisher

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna

Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

Submitted by: ME!!!

Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!

Submitted by: mallikarjun

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC

My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

Submitted by: day

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo

When nothing goes right go left!!
Do it today … It might be illegal tomorrow!
I run with scissors it makes me feel DANGEROUS!
My future is so bright ….. I need shades
If a turtle loses his shell is he NAKED or HOMELESS ??

Submitted by: ameliax

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