Short Funny Quotes
Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.
Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\
Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
Make up can make you beautiful on the outside. It wont work if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.
To be honest…I’m a liar!:P
Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.
Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler
A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.
Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
– George Carlin
Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
I’m just that talented.:)
I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
– Dave Barry
Things on my “To do” list:
Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.
Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.
When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.