Short Funny Quotes

Weather forecast for tonight: dark

Submitted by: mackeeenzzie!

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Submitted by: vincent king
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha
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Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers

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