Short Funny Quotes

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
Backwards?
I’m just that talented.:)

Submitted by: VolleyballStar

I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.

Submitted by: happy murphy

Make up can make you beautiful on the outside. It wont work if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.

Things on my “To do” list:

Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.

Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.

When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin

Procrastination,
I’ll think of something witty to say about it later.

Submitted by: thesexyone

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