Short Funny Quotes - Page 31

448

Thou Shalt Not Stab Giraffe In Neck With Spoon
yeah thats right, I went there

Submitted by: SlamDawg
421

Dont judge the book by it’s cover,
judge the cover by it’s book!

Submitted by: ur mom
293

So many men and yet so few brains.

Submitted by: Frandia
343

My life is hard so stop making it harder and get out of my life

Submitted by: Sherry Qadeer
205

Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.

Submitted by: Sherry Qadeer
229

So I ran into my ex the other day…
then I put it in reverse and hit him again

Submitted by: xXxAmandaxXx
346

Save the planet its the only one with beer

Submitted by: MI
115

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Submitted by: mina
691

Hey you, yea you, no not you, you right there, yes you, do you like tacos????

Submitted by: [[summer lovin rox]]
304

Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P

Submitted by: stig
356

If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?

Submitted by: haylse
614

Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”

Submitted by: I
145

Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.

Submitted by: I
361

I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I
250

DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.

Funny Quote: DON’T HIT KIDS!!! No, seriously, they have...

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Submitted by: I
212

All I want is for one guy to prove that they are not all the same.

Submitted by: I
194

Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.

Submitted by: I
183

If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

Submitted by: AL-X
255

Sleep till you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy

Submitted by: Phillip
262

When you get old and your kids ask
where all the money went, show
them the vacation videos.

Submitted by: mayur
300

I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!

Submitted by: cassie
125

To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?

Submitted by: J-Dog
306

I love love love this quote!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.

Submitted by: Beckers
74

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
Funny Quote: I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I...

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Submitted by: Kacey
76

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Kacey
70

I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.

Funny Quote: I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces...

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Submitted by: Kacey
424

School is a jail, the cells are the classes, teachers are the security guard and WE ARE THE PRISONERS!

Submitted by: ?i love my prettaye
67

A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie
85

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Funny Quote: There are 3 kinds of people in...

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Submitted by: wise juan
422

I dnt have an ego…i just love how awsum I am!!!

Submitted by: danielle

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