Short Funny Quotes - Page 31
Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.
They say money talks…well I’m the ventriloquist.
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.
Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?
If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it doesn’t, go left!
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.
An optimist is a person who thinks b*s* is a fertilizer.
If others can do it…
..let them do it…
I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell…no I’m not…I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Extension of common sense leads to confusion..
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
Some times when I am alone, I Google myself.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
- Steven Wright
Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.
I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.