Short Funny Quotes - Page 31

113

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to go make its own lemonade.

Submitted by: Eeeeemily Bluurrs
94

I scored high on my drug test.

Submitted by: Manny
114

Life hands you lemons…great now who the hell is gonna hand me a knife to cut them!!!

Submitted by: jonjon
44

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan
38

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen
34

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko
74

Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Submitted by: Nicked
79

They say money talks…well I’m the ventriloquist.

Submitted by: Everett McNear
56

Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.

Submitted by: George
63

Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie
102

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33
57

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.
58

If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!

Submitted by: Kassie
57

Everything comes out right in the end, and if it doesn’t, go left!

Submitted by: Melanieee!*
57

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Bravo1560
72

Homework kills trees.
So don’t do homework.

Submitted by: Krystal
71

An optimist is a person who thinks b*s* is a fertilizer.

Submitted by: S John
57

If others can do it…
..let them do it…

Submitted by: g0f0
144

I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell…no I’m not…I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.

Submitted by: Everett McNear
111

He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
She: Why?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi!
She: Hi.
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Submitted by: Natalie
41

Extension of common sense leads to confusion..

Submitted by: dragon
72

People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!

Submitted by: Carla
20

Some times when I am alone, I Google myself.

Submitted by: Haseeb
48

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil
106

Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.

Submitted by: Ryan

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