Short Funny Quotes
If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.
If someone says that you drawing looks ugly, say I didn’t mean to draw you.
I’m not lying, I just forgot the truth.
Are you free this weekend?… No, I’ll be expensive.
I’m not crazy. Just imaginative.
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
– Will Rogers
I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
All married women are not wives.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
– Groucho Marx
My idea of multi- tasking is using a knife and fork at the same time.
Whatever it is – I didn’t do it!
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.
– George Bush
I save trees everyday by not doing my homework.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
When in doubt make something up so you don’t look like a fool.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
– Napoleon Bonaparte
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
That moment of fear when you can’t get a ring off your finger.
If nothing in life is free, why do they make samples!