Short Funny Quotes

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl

Weather forecast for tonight: dark

Submitted by: mackeeenzzie!

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Submitted by: vincent king
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria
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Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

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