Short Funny Quotes - Page 31

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Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
Funny Quote: An onion can make people cry but...

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Everything comes out right in the end, and if it doesn’t, go left!

Submitted by: Melanieee!*

When you stop making quotes about life giving you lemons, you will find true happiness in your life.

Submitted by: dude

Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.

Submitted by: Wigi

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.
– George Bush

Everyone wants to top in exams but no one wants to study.

Submitted by: adarshkumar

I’m not fat your just too skinny.

Submitted by: Belicia

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Groucho Marx

The trick to entertaining idiots is to give them a piece of paper that says flip this on both sides.

Submitted by: Sarah

A baby monkey asks his father thus; father, why are we so ugly?
The father says: don’t stress my son, you should see the one reading this text.

Submitted by: hadikson

If you need advice text me
If you need a friend call me
If you need me come 2 me
But if you need money :((
The subscribe can not be reached.

Submitted by: alexx143

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Funny Quote: Someday they’re going to call me “M’am”...

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Submitted by: sandra blackburn

When I get the urge to clean the house… I lay down till it passes.

Submitted by: crazybrandi

If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.

Submitted by: toshi kool

Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?

Submitted by: rainbowsandunicorns

That moment of fear when you can’t get a ring off your finger.

Funny Quote: That moment of fear when you can’t...

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