Short Funny Quotes - Page 31

43

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC
44

My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

Submitted by: day
52

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo
307

When nothing goes right go left!!
Do it today … It might be illegal tomorrow!
I run with scissors it makes me feel DANGEROUS!
My future is so bright ….. I need shades
If a turtle loses his shell is he NAKED or HOMELESS ??

Submitted by: ameliax
37

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.

Submitted by: Eeshan Usapkar
98

Any one can watch a monkey dance, But can you dance like the monkey.

Submitted by: alfred delcome
196

Guns don’t kill people… Dads with pretty daughters do.

Submitted by: neonBRII
78

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

Submitted by: pyxle
138

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on you again.

Submitted by: The Covert Comic
71

How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..

Submitted by: joker321
52

The future just ain’t what it used to be.

Submitted by: Rockymtnguy
59

Selfishness: Lack of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Submitted by: mick
50

Some people are wise, some are otherwise.

Submitted by: Azrael
113

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to go make its own lemonade.

Submitted by: Eeeeemily Bluurrs
94

I scored high on my drug test.

Submitted by: Manny
114

Life hands you lemons…great now who the hell is gonna hand me a knife to cut them!!!

Submitted by: jonjon
44

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan
38

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen
34

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko
74

Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Submitted by: Nicked
79

They say money talks…well I’m the ventriloquist.

Submitted by: Everett McNear
56

Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.

Submitted by: George
63

Dude! You’re scaring me…Stop Smiling

Submitted by: Lynsie
102

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33
57

If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

Submitted by: littleredridinghood.

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