Short Funny Quotes

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Submitted by: vincent king

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

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Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard
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To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

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