Short Funny Quotes - Page 31
He who laughs last… Well, laughs last… What were you expecting me to say!!!
I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then I eat it.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!
I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!
Who needs rhetorical questions?
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx
Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!
A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
You: Does everything I say have to mean something?
Me: Apparently not…babble on
There is no I in fail… WAIT!…
I put the pro in procrastination.
Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!
Never judge a book by its cover…read the cliff notes!
When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.
Tell your girlfriend, I said thanks…!
I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso
If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???
My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.
The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?
When nothing goes right go left!!
Do it today … It might be illegal tomorrow!
I run with scissors it makes me feel DANGEROUS!
My future is so bright ….. I need shades
If a turtle loses his shell is he NAKED or HOMELESS ??