Short Funny Quotes

Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Submitted by: vincent king

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Make up can make you beautiful on the outside. It wont work if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!

Submitted by: mw is cool

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
Backwards?
I’m just that talented.:)

Submitted by: VolleyballStar

I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.

Submitted by: happy murphy

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry

Things on my “To do” list:

Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.

Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.

When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

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