Short Funny Quotes

To be honest…I’m a liar!:P

Submitted by: JoezZz

Despite the cost of living it’s still quite popular.

Submitted by: Tim Braithwaite

Mother In Law, an anagram of, Woman Hitler

Submitted by: :..Guy..

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
– David O. McKay

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

Did you fall?
No I attacked the floor…
Backwards?
I’m just that talented.:)

Submitted by: VolleyballStar

I’m a pretty clever guy. For example, my username and password are always the same, just in case I forget either.

Submitted by: happy murphy

Things on my “To do” list:

Put vanilla pudding in a mayonnaise jar and eat it in public.

Ask someone in a store what year it is and when they reply yell, “I did it!” and run out.

When in a crowded elevator, ask everyone, “I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you here today”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin

Four out of three people have a hard time dealing with fractions.

Submitted by: Jennette Stevens

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Why do people try park as close as the can to the entrance when they go to the gym to work out?

Submitted by: TheAwesome1

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep. :)

When I was a kid, I used to sing, “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P”

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