Short Funny Quotes - Page 4
I currently live in the 9021 broke.
Breast implants gave my wife more confidence, and me more boobs.
During surgery: “The lights went out. But that won’t stop us.”
During surgery: “A screwdriver?. This can’t be right.”
During surgery: “Alright everyone, let’s dig in.”
Bumper sticker: I worked at hooters. Fifty years ago.
If soap tasted good I would never get clean.
During surgery: “God performs miracles. I don’t.”
My tiger is my best friend. After the cage is closed.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!
Without my driver’s license, you’ll just have to believe the age I tell you.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra
I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln
$19.99 Because $20.00 is an outrageous amount of money.
I hate how when I read in my head I sound like a pro, but when I read out loud I sound like an idiot.
That moment of fear when you can’t get a ring off your finger.
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.