Short Funny Quotes - Page 4

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My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

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After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.

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A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.

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If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

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