Short Funny Quotes - Page 4

13

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria
378

If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3

Submitted by: daprincessishere
31

Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil
95

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey
85

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Funny

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Submitted by: wise juan
20

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.

Submitted by: Chocolate88
183

If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

Submitted by: AL-X
24

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)
49

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Submitted by: Kazzaaa
6

I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Forgiveness-(4)

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Submitted by: Kuzai
801

1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d

Submitted by: Cigaro
38

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes
604

Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

Submitted by: devon
35

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.

Submitted by: exdevlin92
102

Rlaely it deson’t mttaer waht I wirte you’ll sitll uanrtednsnd it

Submitted by: danz
85

Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

Submitted by: Zoe*
21

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

Submitted by: tisha ;)
6

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright

0

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

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20

Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services

Submitted by: Captain Munch
40

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Family-(1)

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Submitted by: Flicka
66

I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?

Submitted by: Kristine
93

Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…

Submitted by: himadri
63

Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.

Submitted by: danz
43

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)

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