Short Funny Quotes - Page 4

378

If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3

Submitted by: daprincessishere
66

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang
6

I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Funny Quote: I forgive and forget, because I have...

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Submitted by: Kuzai
0

Be the kind of woman that when your feet touch the ground in the morning, the devils says “Oh no she’s up.”

Submitted by: Nathan
95

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey
31

Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

Submitted by: Amnichil
39

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: That’s why they call it the American...

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85

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Funny Quote: There are 3 kinds of people in...

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Submitted by: wise juan
38

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes
2

I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.

Funny Quote: I hate how after an argument I...

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183

If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

Submitted by: AL-X
24

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)
21

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.

Submitted by: Chocolate88
49

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Submitted by: Kazzaaa
604

Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

Submitted by: devon
802

1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d

Submitted by: Cigaro
35

A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.

Submitted by: exdevlin92
102

Rlaely it deson’t mttaer waht I wirte you’ll sitll uanrtednsnd it

Submitted by: danz
85

Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

Submitted by: Zoe*
21

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

Submitted by: tisha ;)
7

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

42

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Funny Quote: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along...

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Submitted by: Flicka
63

Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.

Submitted by: danz
43

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)
9

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

Submitted by: Carlito

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