Short Funny Quotes - Page 4
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
- Groucho Marx
If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
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An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
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Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.
I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…
Most popular things to do in an emergency…
60% Update Facebook Status
15% Record a Video, then upload it on YouTube
15% Update Twitter Status
10% Call Emergency Services
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.