Short Funny Quotes - Page 4
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!
If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx
There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
– George Carlin
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
– Steven Wright
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
Rlaely it deson’t mttaer waht I wirte you’ll sitll uanrtednsnd it
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.