Short Funny Quotes
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
You study to remember
If you remember too much you forget
If you forget you don’t know what you studied
If you forgot what you studied you fail your test.
SO WHY STUDY?
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.
Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…
There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.
Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.