Short Funny Quotes

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Submitted by: Mark Cromo

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Submitted by: mina

If Barbie was so popular, Why do people buy her friends ?

Submitted by: Shortie

Bet you didn’t notice the the word ‘the’ has been said twice. :)

Submitted by: Bailey

Homework is killing
trees, stop the madness!

Submitted by: Sam

No’one is perfect,
well then im no’one

Submitted by: bobby

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

Rlaely it deson’t mttaer waht I wirte you’ll sitll uanrtednsnd it

Submitted by: danz

Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.

Submitted by: Beth

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.

Submitted by: Flicka

When I speak with my eyes, I tell more than just one story.

Submitted by: Priya

Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?
Boy: Easy, stop imagining.

Submitted by: Cupcake

I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…

Submitted by: louise bobte

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