Short Funny Quotes

I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

Submitted by: Mich

It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

Submitted by: marcus lomax

Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

You study to remember
If you remember too much you forget
If you forget you don’t know what you studied
If you forgot what you studied you fail your test.
SO WHY STUDY?
xD

Submitted by: LMAO

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky

Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Submitted by: bonche

Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…

Submitted by: himadri

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Submitted by: wise juan

Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!

Submitted by: Laura
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I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

Submitted by: Zoe*

Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”

Submitted by: I

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33

A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Submitted by: magda

So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back

Submitted by: Bushraa

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang

Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~

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