Short Funny Quotes

Ladies stop worrying about finding Mr. right. All you need to do is find a guy and drag the idiot to the right!

Submitted by: unknown

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.
– Henny Youngman

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.
– Jack Benny

I don’t understand how some people have the courage to tell their crush they like them. I don’t even have the courage to ask for extra ketchup at McDonald’s.

I like fat people more than I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people.

Advertisements

You are so fat, people jog around you for exercise.

Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people.

I swear, I don’t mind being fat…Until we reach a mall. Then I wish I was skinny!

I’m not fat. I’m just so sexy that it overflows.

What do you call a fat girl dancing in a club? Alone.

I’m in shape. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong one.

Advertisements

Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That’s 10 years in a row now…

I’m not saying she’s fat. I’m just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know…. She’d be three of them.

Want the most simple cure for childhood obesity? Ice cream trucks that don’t stop.

Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote