Short Funny Quotes - Page 5

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I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order…As they should be.

Funny Quote: I have CDO, it’s like OCD but...

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Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Submitted by: Holorunranty

If I spoke my mind, I would be in deep trouble.

Submitted by: katie

Fact of life after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF!!!

Submitted by: nida

Anti-Pick Up Lines:

He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money.

He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.

He: Go on. Don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.

He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?

He: Shall we go see a movie?
She: I have already seen it.

He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
She: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Funny Quote: Anti-Pick Up Lines: He: Can I buy...

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I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things.

Funny Quote: I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely...

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I currently live in the 9021 broke.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Breast implants gave my wife more confidence, and me more boobs.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

During surgery: “The lights went out. But that won’t stop us.”

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

During surgery: “A screwdriver?. This can’t be right.”

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Funny Quote: There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that...

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Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

During surgery: “Alright everyone, let’s dig in.”

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Bumper sticker: I worked at hooters. Fifty years ago.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

If soap tasted good I would never get clean.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

During surgery: “God performs miracles. I don’t.”

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

My tiger is my best friend. After the cage is closed.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!

Submitted by: BestFriend

Without my driver’s license, you’ll just have to believe the age I tell you.

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.

Funny Quote: Things that are difficult to say when...

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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.

Funny Quote: Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then...

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