Short Funny Quotes

A diabetic walks into a bakery as asks the girl behind the counter, “What do you have that is safe for diabetics?”
The baker says, “Everything. As long as you don’t put it in your mouth.”

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Obesity is very easy to catch.

–They can’t run very fast.

Good things come to those who wait.
But bad things come to those who “weight.”

Q: Dear Tons of Fun:

I’m a skinny minnie who wants to catch the obesity disease. Can you give me some weight gain tips?
A: Dear Skinny Minnie:

Eat eat a lot of junk food, and sit on the couch watching TV all day long every day. Eat just before you go to sleep is best!
You should also study Sumo Wrestlers, and emulate their habits.
You can do it!

Teacher: When you think of Greece, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Chubby student: French fries.

Old gluttons never die, they just waist away.

I’m on grapefruit diet. I eat everything but grapefruit.

If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

If being overweight is a sign of wealth, then I am filthy rich.

“Live each day like it were your last.” sounded like great advice.

Until I started eating my own weight in bacon cheeseburgers and fries every day and now I’m dying from obesity and diabetes.

It’s not that diabetes, heart disease and obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

How does a woman go from a slender size 8 to a big fat size 16?

How does she double in size?
It’s simple math:
She 8 and 8 (ATE AND ATE).
(8 + 8 = 16) (And ate plus ate = (size) 16

Obesity is a disease.

Is it a disease?

Yes, a mouth disease!!!

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