Short Funny Quotes - Page 5
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
All I want is for one guy to prove that they are not all the same.
I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- George Carlin
When you are always ahead of others, you are always walking alone.
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
BEER IS NOW CHEAPER THAN GAS, SO DRINK DONT DRIVE!
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.