Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes - Page 5

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

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Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…

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Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

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Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

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Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.

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Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”

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When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

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A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

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The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
– Steven Wright

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So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back

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Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P

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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx

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The hardest part about business is minding your own.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
– George Carlin

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When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.

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When God made me, he was showing off!!

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Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

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Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

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Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.

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