Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes - Page 6

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
– Steven Wright

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I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?

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When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

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I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!

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If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

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Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.

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A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
– Calvin and Hobbes

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Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?

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Walking into a restaurant…
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No, we came to sit on the ground… floor for five please.

Me when parents are sleeping: shh they’re asleep.
My parents when I’m asleep: Let’s vacuum for three hours.

I learned three things in school:
1. How to text without looking.
2. How to sleep with my eyes open.
3. And teamwork during tests.

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I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

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I never fall off.
I just,
Dismount with style.

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If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

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We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!

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I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.

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Don’t regret doing something, regret getting caught.

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People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

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When cheese gets it’s picture taken what does it say?

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Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

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Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

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