Short Funny Quotes

Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?

Submitted by: Kim

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

Submitted by: dear maths!!!

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

When you are always ahead of others, you are always walking alone.

Submitted by: Longfellow
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Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years. …

Submitted by: Bagga

Ok so I applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said I needed 24 hrs experience with a retard..so …uhh…um do you wanna hang out?

Submitted by: mariah

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Submitted by: Mr. Lova Lova

I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

Submitted by: Mich

It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

Submitted by: marcus lomax

Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

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Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia

You study to remember
If you remember too much you forget
If you forget you don’t know what you studied
If you forgot what you studied you fail your test.
SO WHY STUDY?
xD

Submitted by: LMAO

Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Submitted by: bonche

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Submitted by: wise juan

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