Short Funny Quotes

Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?

Submitted by: Kim

When you are always ahead of others, you are always walking alone.

Submitted by: Longfellow

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky

Ok so I applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said I needed 24 hrs experience with a retard..so …uhh…um do you wanna hang out?

Submitted by: mariah

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Submitted by: Mr. Lova Lova

Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years. …

Submitted by: Bagga

I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

Submitted by: Mich
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Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

Submitted by: marcus lomax

Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia

You study to remember
If you remember too much you forget
If you forget you don’t know what you studied
If you forgot what you studied you fail your test.
SO WHY STUDY?
xD

Submitted by: LMAO
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Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Submitted by: bonche

Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter…

Submitted by: himadri

There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

Submitted by: wise juan

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