Short Funny Quotes - Page 6

Sorted by: Popularity | Newest First

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Quote: I remember the time I was kidnapped...

Embed Code

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Quote: Once I pulled a job, I was...

Embed Code

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Quote: I came from a real tough neighborhood....

Embed Code

My psychiatrist said to me, “Take these pills and you’ll be all right.” I told him that there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world, “I know. But it’s easier for you to take the pills than the rest of the world.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor

I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Submitted by: Robert D Dangoor

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: That’s why they call it the American...

Embed Code

Poor : When you have too much month at the end of your money.

Funny Quote: Poor : When you have too much...

Embed Code

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

Funny Quote: Laughter is the best medicine but if...

Embed Code

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

Funny Quote: We live in the era of smart...

Embed Code

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

Funny Quote: People who say they sleep like a...

Embed Code
Copyright © 2006-2015 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.