Short Funny Quotes
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
When God made me, he was showing off!!
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!