Short Funny Quotes
Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
When God made me, he was showing off!!
Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.