Short Funny Quotes
So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
When God made me, he was showing off!!
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
– Steven Wright
Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.