Short Funny Quotes
Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
When God made me, he was showing off!!
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!
Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.
Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
– Steven Wright
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.
Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P