Short Funny Quotes

Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!

Submitted by: Laura

Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

Submitted by: Zoe*

Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

Friends will always be like: “You deserve better.”
True friends will be prank calling him saying “You will die in seven days.”

Submitted by: I

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Submitted by: magda

So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back

Submitted by: Bushraa

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~
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When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.

Submitted by: Samantha LeFavi

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Submitted by: Adrian

When God made me, he was showing off!!

Submitted by: Nandish

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