Short Funny Quotes

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil

A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Submitted by: magda

So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back

Submitted by: Bushraa

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang

When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.

Submitted by: Samantha LeFavi

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky

Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.

Submitted by: captain crunch

When God made me, he was showing off!!

Submitted by: Nandish

The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Submitted by: jay

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!

Submitted by: _FiLa96_

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