Short Funny Quotes

So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back

Submitted by: Bushraa

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang

Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Submitted by: Mark Cromo

When life gives you lemons say “Screw you” And go find an orange.
Everything comes out right in the end, and if it isnt right, it isnt the end.

Submitted by: Samantha LeFavi

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~

Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.

Submitted by: captain crunch

When God made me, he was showing off!!

Submitted by: Nandish

The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Submitted by: jay

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?

Submitted by: Kristine

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!

Submitted by: _FiLa96_

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Kacey

Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.

Submitted by: itadakimasu

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