Short Funny Quotes
What does it mean when you live on a busy street and your mom tells you to play on the road?
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on
If love is blind then how did it find us???
Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p
School for 12 years, college for 4 more years, then you work until you die. Cool.
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.