Short Funny Quotes - Page 7

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Don’t tell my mother I work in an advertising agency, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
- Jacques Seguela

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Never write an advertisement which you wouldn’t want your family to read. You wouldn’t tell lies to your own wife. Don’t tell them to mine.
– David Ogilvy

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In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn’t danced on TV.
- Erma Bombeck

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Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement.
- Samuel Johnson

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In our factory, we make lipstick. In our advertising, we sell hope.
- Peter Nivio Zarlenga

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The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy

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True love is like a ghost which everyone talks about and few have seen.

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It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S Truman

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If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.
- Sam Levenson

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The language of love letters is the same as suicide notes.
- Courtney Love

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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
- Jasper Fforde

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I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: “Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me?
I’ll be ready.
- Charles Bukowski

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Death should take me while I am in the mood.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

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I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

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I liked this girl in my sixth grade class. I dared her to kiss me – - but she didn’t!
- Justin Bieber

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My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
- Winston Churchill

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All married women are not wives.

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A man’s mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.
- Walter Bagehot

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I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed too – for being married so many times.
- Elizabeth Taylor

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Me and my wife are happy. At least when we are not together.
- Jarod Kintz


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