QUICK!! What’s the number for 911!!! ]
Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.
Heaven doesn’t want me…and hell is too scared I’ll take over.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say. Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now. I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!
It takes patience to listen.. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening. – Harmon Okinyo
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
If love is blind then how did it find us???
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
When you get old and your kids ask where all the money went, show them the vacation videos.
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .
Sleep till you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
Brother: Did you know that ‘sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ‘su’ makes the ‘sh’ sound? Sister: Really? Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.
Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy
